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Countdown to DC Fest

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Monday, December 22, 2008

Dr. Phil Show- Friday

Friday
"Brainwashed by My Parents"
It's being called the ultimate form of child abuse -- brainwashing your children against an ex-spouse to win custody. Could you be harming your child emotionally and not even know it? First up, Ken is a successful surgeon who says he's the victim of parental alienation syndrome (PAS). He says he hasn't seen his 14-year-old son since last October and claims his ex-wife destroyed what was once a loving father-son relationship. Mel Feit, director of the National Center for Men, says Ken's situation is a classic case of kids being turned against their father, but family law attorney Liz Kates says PAS is a phony tactic used by some men to get out of paying child support. What does Dr. Phil think? Then, Karen lost custody of her children after she was accused of parental alienation syndrome by her ex-husband. Karen maintains her innocence, so why were her parental rights terminated when her daughters accused her ex of sexual abuse? Plus, 19-year-old Demi joins the show via Web cam and says her father verbally abused her mother during their divorce. Now, she fears that her 15-year-old sister is caught in the middle. Find out what you can do if you're caught between sparring parents. And, meet a father so desperate to see his young children, he kidnapped them from his ex-wife and went on the lam for two years.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Take Refuge in GOD's word

Every word of God is tested, says Scripture. He is a shield to those who take refuge in Him.
God spoke to Abram and said "Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward. " ( Genesis 15:1 )

When we fail to listen God say's "These wicked people, who refuse to listen to my words, who follow the stubbornness of their hearts and go after other gods to serve and worship them, will be like this belt—completely useless!" (Jerimiah 13:10 )

Because of his word I take complete faith in this verse: "Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient." ( Ephesians 5:6 )

another PAS story part #3

The very next day after parent “B” was released from the drug rehab program a telephone call come into the home of parent “A”. It was CPS, they had been to the school to talk to the child and wanted to come to the home to see the home and talk to parent “A”.
Just before CPS was to arrive at the home of parent “A”, parent “B” and grandparent “B” come to the home unannounced wanting the take the child. Parent “B” walked into the home without even knocking on the door, therefore the sheriff’s department was called. About the time the sheriff’s officers arrived, and was sorting things out is when CPS showed up. Parent “B” and grandparent “B” were told by the sheriff deputies to leave the property. CPS come into the home and done the inspection, all the accounts were unfounded and parent “A” was told that the home was more than appropriate, and that the child was doing quite well.
But this would not be the end of the story. Several more visits from CPS erupted to the point that parent “A” had to tell CPS if they showed up at the home again that a suite would be filed against the department for harassment as they had been to the home several times and each time they come nothing could be found that would warrant an investigation, and any further contact should be directed to the legal team. CPS has never showed up at the home again.
Finally a court date come. Parent “B”’s legal team failed to explain to the judge why parent “A” had taken the child. The only thing that was stated was that parent “A” just took the child suddenly. Parent “A” stood in front of the judge and told the judge that the child was taken because parent “B” was in a DRUG REHAB. At this time the judge turned a little red, and wanted to know what for. Parent “B”’s legal team jumped nervous like and said for LONG TERM USE OF POT. LONG TERM USE, and I repeat again LONG TERM USE.
Parent “A” was awarded FULL custody of the child on the spot, but another court date needed to be had to hear the entire case. Parent “B” was awarded what was supposed to be supervised visitation. The unfortunate part is that parent “A” was so nervous that they allowed the supervisor to be grandparent “B”. This would be a fatal mistake.
Weekend visits ensued. This time parent “B” was to do ALL the transporting of the child. When the weekend visits started, so did another twist to the story. Parent “A” started disclosing everything to the child again as if the child were the parent’s best friend. Every intimate detail of parent “B”’s problems were laid upon the child, as well as parent “B” crying to the child about how parent “A” did both of them wrong for seeing to it the child was taken care of.
In the meantime the child finished the school year with excellent grades, and was advanced to the next grade dispute all the days of school missed prior to moving in with parent “A”.
The child was missing the sibling from parent “B”’s second marriage. Parent “B” was to have the sibling for a summer visit. The child wanted parent “A” to allow extra visit time with parent “B” in order to spend time with the sibling that had not been seen in a few months. Sibling “A” understood the need to be with the sibling and allowed the extra time.
The extended visit gave parent “B” more time work on the child. We can all guess what come next. When the child come back the child did everything in the world to break up parent “A”’s home, and destroy what was there. The child become very emotional and all the good that parent “A” had accomplished went down the drain. The child was in worse shape emotionally as was when the child arrived in parent “A”’s home.
The stress was more than parent “A” could bare, and the emotions were high. The child desperately wanted to be with parent “B”. As much as parent “A” was against sending the child to a home to live with a recovering addict, the choice had to be made to ensure the child would be able to stable out and have some peace in its life. You see, by this time the child was not a small child anymore, the child was at a point in its life where when opinions and beliefs are formed, there is no turning back. Arrangements were made for the child to return to parent “B”’s custody, but not without rules.
Despite the rules, the alienation continued. Parent “A” to this day has never again laid eye’s on the child. The child calls from time to time wanting demands for money and wanted processions to be handed over, all parent “A” asks for is a little time together, that one request is never met.
But here is where the story turns again. Remember that parent “B” does not have physical custody of the child from the second marriage, this much we know because the child was “visiting” during the summer. You see, parent “B” lost custody of the second child because of the events over the last several months. Parent “B” misses the second child, and is angry because parent “B” is now being alienated from the second child.
The moral of this story is “What goes around, comes around” Parent “B” is now experiencing what parent “A” has experienced for years and does not like what is happening to them.

Another PAS Story Part #2

Then a twist of fate come in to play. It was time for a school break and the child was to visit parent “A”. When it come time to exchange custody of the child parent “A” was contacted by a parent of parent “B” (this being the child’s grandparent) The child’s grandparent stated that they were in the area and would get the child and transport the child from the child’s home, to parent “A”. This sounds like a pretty good deal right? This means that parent “A” does not have to drive the over four hour drive one way and then return another over four hours back home. The next few sets of events are terrifying for any parent.
The time come when parent “A” was to be getting the child from the grandparent. The grandparent stated they wanted to spend a little time with the child and it was agreed that parent “A” would give up a day with the child so that the grandparent could enjoy some time as well. You see the grandparent lived in the same area as parent “A”, so the grandparent did not get to see the child often either. So it did not seem like a huge deal at the time to allow the grandparent to share in some of the visitation time.
An entire week rolled around and the child was not delivered by the grandparent to parent “A”, but rather the parent of parent “A”. This is when the twist of fate took hold. The child was refusing to come to parent “A”’s home. This was strange and parent “A” knew that something was wrong. Parent “A”’s parent who had the child by this time explains that there is trouble at the child’s home. It was about the same time this information was coming forth that parent “A” got a phone call from parent “B”’s parent.
Grandparent “B” wanted parent “A” to sign custody of the child over to them. Now WHY would this be done? Grandparent “B” explained that parent “B” was having some problems at home, what those problems were, grandparent “B” would not be forthcoming with, grandparent “B” tried to play it as a marital problem. This would NOT be the case.
Parent “A” went to the home of grandparent “A” to get the story. Come to find out parent “B” was in a heap of trouble. Parent “B” did have marital problems but the extend of it was way more than what had been explained.
Remember parent “A” seeing a look in parent “B”’s eyes that couldn’t be distinguished? I am sure you have guessed by now, that look was the look of someone on drugs, eyes that looked like a deer caught in headlights.
Apparently as the story unraveled, it become known that parent “B” had left the current spouse taking with them only the child from the first marriage. Parent “B” moved right into another home with another person, as well as not sending the child to school. So what had happened on the day that visitation was to start was truancy officers along with CPS had located parent “B”. Grandparent “B” was in the area and was able to tell truancy officers and CPS that they would take control of the child and get parent “B” some help to keep the child from being taken into state care.
Trying to hold true to their word was the reason that grandparent “B” was putting pressure on parent “A” to sign custody over. Parent “A” REFUSED. In the meantime grandparent “B” had taken parent “B” to a drug rehab, but referred to it as a safe haven for abused persons. It was not a safe house, it was a drug rehab. Where grandparent “B” slipped was when they stated the name of the facility. Anyone in the area knows what the facility is, it is not a secret, they had their name plastered on billboards with the purpose of their services.
Parent “A” did what any good parent should do, parent “A” took the child from grandparent “A” and refused to hand the child over to grandparent “B”. When parent “A” took the child from grandparent “A” the child only had one change of clothes and nothing more. Parent “A” immediately went out and purchased a wardrobe of clothing, and school supplies. The child had missed 39 days of the school year and would by default fail the school year because of the days missed. In order to try and correct the situation parent “A” enlisted the help of a private school. If the child could do the school work and show that they could pass the child would be allowed to pass on to the next grade instead of repeating the grade the next school year. So the child was enrolled in the private school for the remainder of the year.
While living with parent “A” the child did very well. Each day was the same as the last for the exception of weekends. During the school week each day the child awoke, went through a routine to prepare for school. At the end of each school day the child did their homework, ate dinner, performed a few chores and had the rest of the evening at leisure. The weekends were for fun. During that time the child would talk to parent “B” a few times a week via a phone call from the rehab unit.
The child made friends, took part in field trips where parent “A”’s spouse chaperoned in parent “A”’s absence. The child was asked to create a costume as extra credit for a class in which step parent “A” and the child constructed from scratch one of the best costumes, gaining the child all the points available for the extra credit. The child wore a smile of pride when arriving to school with the awesome costume on. The child received many comments on how neat his costume was, everyone took notice to the details in the costume.
During this time grandparent “B” continually tried to get the child back. Grandparent “B” tried to have papers served on parent “A”, it did no good. You see, the way the papers were written in the divorce some years back the parents shared both legal and joint physical custody. This meant that parent “A” had every right to have the child. Grandparent “B” took the papers to the sheriff’s department only to be told that the office would NOT serve the papers. Grandparent “B” would drive past parent “A”’s home in a stalking manner. Parent “A” set up camera’s to document the stalking.

Parent “B” completed the rehab program and was due to be released, at this time arrangements were afforded for the child to attend the ceremony of release. Ideally, it was not something that parent “A” wanted the child to take part in or see, but because the child wanted to take part in the ceremony and it was important to parent “B”, parent “A” allowed the participation. This is where things started to turn again.

Another PAS story part #1

I am publishing this story in pieces because it is very long, but is a good read.

For years now I have been watching another PAS situation unfold. I had to share this story because it does show another side of PAS.
One child was born of the marriage between parent “A” and parent “B”. For the purpose of this story parent “A” is the alienated parent and parent “B” is the alienator.
While still in the child’s toddler stage parent “B” left parent “A” a total of three times. The first two times the parents tried to work things out. Parent “A” come home one day from working to an empty house, this would be the final straw in the marriage. Parent “B” had moved out while parent “A” was at work taking everything in the house including parent “A”’s clothing. Parent “A” had nothing and was forced to move home where their roots began to try and restart their life. Parent “A” was left with a stack of bills, and a checkbook was missing.
Like all people trying to put the pieces of their life back together parent “A” had to find out just where they were as far as the bank account went and what bills were paid and which bills were not paid. By the time Parent “A” was aware that they were left with nothing and called the bank the account was in complete disorder already as well. Parent “A” did the right thing and made good on the checks that were written on the account and put a stop on the account. This as it would turn out would be a good thing as over the next few weeks several checks were presented to the bank that were written to a casino. Parent “B” not only left parent “A” with nothing to their name, they also were living large on parent “A”’s checkbook. To add another twist to the story, parent “A” found out that when parent “B” had left, they had not only just moved out, but moved directly in with another person.
The next step parent “A” did was to file for divorce, as well as bankrupt. Parent “A” had started to receive letters that none of the bills were paid for a period of a couple of months. The sad reality is that this happens all the time in these types of situations.
Moving forward, parent “A” had always processed a strong work ethic and part of the profession that parent “A” worked in required a lot of travel. Whereas parent “B” had held minimal jobs here and there over the period of the relationship, as well as was unemployed for a large portion of the relationship. Because of parent “A”’s travel the help of parent “A”’s parent was essential to help orchestrate the arrangements in exchanging custody for visitation times. The arrangement was that the meetings to exchange the child were to be done at a halfway point between each parents homes, which meant that each parent would have to drive a little over two hours one way to meet.
Each time that it come time to exchange the child parent “B” would have some excuse as to why they could not meet halfway, and each time parent “A” was enticed with having to take on more and more of the total trip until it got to a point where parent “A” was doing the entire trip, traveling all the way to parent “B”’s town and back to their own town. Parent “A” endured the trips in order to have their special time with the child. Over the years parent “B” started to make excuses why the child could not come to visit until the visits become only a few times a year.
Remember when I said that parent “B” had moved in with someone else? Parent “B” married this person not long after the divorce was final with parent “A”, and it was not much longer when parent “B” had another child.
It was about the time that this new child come into the world that some of the details started to emerge about the situation parent “B” and the first child were in. Parent “A” started to take some notice that when they would call to talk to the child that a lot of times parent “B” was not there, and other times when parent “B” was there, speech was slurred a lot and things just did not add up.
Parent “B” never was one to ask the child things about the home life, but things did start to emerge. If you just listen, children tell you more than they think they are telling. One day the child was talking about the new baby and it slipped out that parent “B” had been away and everyone had to help take care of the new baby. Where did parent “B” go away to? The child of its own free will explained that parent “B had to visit the sanitarium. It was then time to ask some questions. Come to find out, this was a regular trend that was happening in parent “B”’s life. It was not an isolated incident that could be swept up under the rug and tossed away as a period of depression; these visits had become a regular way of life. Needless to say parent “A” was quite shocked about the events that were being laid into the spectrum.
Parent “A” sought out a legal team to represent them. We all hear of corruption in PAS right? Well, this story is no different. Months and months flew by, parent “A” was constantly asking for a day in court, and paying payments to the legal team. Parent “A”’s day in court never came. Having paid the legal team thousands of dollars, and getting nowhere parent “A” had to drop the legal team and seek out another team and start paying again.
Christmas time rolled around during this time and parent “A” exercised the rights to have the child for the Holiday’s. This Christmas was like no other. The entire Christmas break the phone at parent “A”’s house constantly rang, if there was no answer then the cell phone would start ringing non stop. It was parent “B” needing to talk to the child. Each and every phone call become worse than the last. Parent “B” was experiencing some troubles at home and was calling the child to cry on the child’s shoulder, including the child in intimate details that no child should know about. The entire visit was riddled with phone calls making parent “A”’s visit miserable.
Finally when the visit was over parent “A” was transporting the child to meet parent “B”. Parent “B” had tried to make parent “A” drive the entire trip but parent “A” laid it out in no uncertain terms that they would NOT drive the entire way, parent “A” had driven the entire trip to retrieve the child when the break began and it just was not feasible to do it again. This forced parent “B” to drive some, but not even half of the trip. At the meeting point to exchange custody again parent “A” noticed a strange look in parent “B”’s eyes that they just could not put a finger on. Parent “B” then asks parent “A” for some money. Parent “A” declined. Custody was exchanged and each parent went their own way.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Its time to remove the blinders

As parents we want more for our children than we had ourselves, we also lead by example. In order for our children to attain success we must live each day not only as a parent but as a teacher. Teaching does not start and end in the school, teaching our children at home is a never ending process.
As a grown adult I enjoy living in a nice comfortable home, I enjoy getting a new car to drive every couple of years, and I enjoy the other fruits that are produced from my labor such as vacations to fun places, big screen T.V.’s to watch and play games on, and pretty things to look at within my home. All of those things are the results of work ethic, an ethic my own parents instilled into me at a young age.
For just one moment think of what life would be like if those values were not instilled into us. There is some very interesting reading on the internet about the subject, as well as reading within our bible that talks of non-working people. In Ephesians it says that if a man does not work, nor will he eat. That may have been true in the biblical days, but in today’s society we have a system in place to award those who do not work, it is in the form of welfare, SSDI checks being the latest trend in enabling otherwise able bodied persons to set poor examples for our youth who are our future.
In a study performed on non working men some not so surprising results were concluded. Men who have children and do not work, especially male gendered children are actually damaging to our future. Men by default have been the harder working of the two genders as of years past. The study concluded that male children, whose male parent counterpart did not work, actually had lifelong disabling affects on the male children. The boys who are raised to see the father figure not working will not develop the skills or the desire to carry him further in life in order to give a better life to his own children when he has children of his own. So what is non working fathers actually doing to our children of today? The answer will take us back to the SSDI payments, it is called oppression.
SSDI payments are for people who are disabled, the sad reality is that families are lining up at the doctors offices and the Social Security offices to try and get on one of these checks. It becomes a game so that the entire family is falling victim to their own selfish game and oppressing themselves. The more people in the family that can get on a SSDI check, the more money rolls in and the less anyone in the family has to work, leaving them time to relax and watch TV, play video games, and well… Not Work.
The part the self oppressing families do not understand is that the money that comes in the mailbox at the start of each month, and the cost involved in seeing doctors along with the cost of the medications that are prescribed do cost money. Now here is why I have the right to talk about this subject, you see I pay TAXES. Anyone who works knows that somewhere in the range of 35% of their gross earnings are taken each week for TAXES. Where does the TAX money go? Right into the pockets of those who oppress themselves. As a tax payer it is disgusting to know that you worked your ass off all week long to give up 35% of your gross pay while that money goes into the pocket of someone who CAN work but will NOT work, who sat on his ass all week playing some game station, sleeping till he wakes because he is not against a clock, and who does not do a single thing all week that could be considered productive. So again I have the right to talk about the subject because these people are living off my money and the money of other people who work and pay taxes as well. The check may be written by the government, however without the money paid in by tax payers, it would not be there, not would the healthcare and medication.
Back to the example that living off government payments sets. Getting a check in the mailbox every month would be a delight to anyone. But that is not what the system was set up for. The welfare system was put into place to help out families who fell below the averages to meet the minimum living expenses. It was not set into place to depend on for a living. SSDI was set into place to assist those who are NOT ABLE to work. The problem is this, families get used to the money landing in the mailbox month after month, and it just becomes EASY to sit back and count the days until the next one comes in. The adults taking in the money find ways to keep it coming in. But what happens when the kids get older and they want to move out on their own? All of a sudden the person who has lived off the kids checks for years has no income and has no work history. You see, by living off the system you are not only holding yourself back but you are holding the kids back too, SSDI is NOT a retirement plan, it is a temporary mirage.
Another sad thing is that a lot of the people who sitting around collecting payments CAN work. They just choose not to. There is a certain dad, who makes his entire living this way. He draws the check month after month, and child support, and the medical benefits, he then sits at home and sometimes his buddies come over, sometimes he goes out to bars, when the school calls and needs to have a meeting about the children he sends his mommy to do it for him, and other than that he sleep, eats and does not work. His excuse… The children’s doctor told him not to work. Well you see, here is the problem with that, the kids are in school all day, he is not the one who goes to the school when there is a problem, he does not keep house, and he does not work. WHY? There really is no excuse. People with children work all the time, and if his mommy is taking care of his bidding for him, then what excuse doe he have NOT TO WORK?
If you are reading this and you know someone like this, make calls lots of them, write letters, TURN THE LAZY PEOPLE IN. GET THEIR CHECKS CUT OFF. If you have custody of your children and you need a little help, that is what the system if for, it is not to make your living off of because you are too damn lazy to work.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Quotes that are interesting

I like this one because this is what has TRIED to be done to me. Some people will never learn, WERE NOT ALL ALIKE!
He that is conscious of guilt cannot bear the innocence of others: So they will try to reduce all others to their own level.

Charles James Fox
1749-1806, British Statesman, Foreign Secretary
more famous quotes


The more sinful and guilty a person tends to feel, the less chance there is that he will be a happy, healthy, or law-abiding citizen. He will become a compulsive wrong-doer.

Dr. Albert Ellis
1913-, American Psychotherapist
more famous quotes



The devil himself is good when he is pleased.

Thomas Fuller
1608-1661, British Clergyman, Author
more famous quotes


You don't drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there.

Edwin Louis Cole
more famous quotes


This last one is why we must always keep working for and fighting for what we believe in.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Jeremiah 5

21 Hear this, you foolish and senseless people, who have eyes but do not see, who have ears but do not hear:
22 Should you not fear me?" declares the LORD. "Should you not tremble in my presence? I made the sand a boundary for the sea, an everlasting barrier it cannot cross. The waves may roll, but they cannot prevail; they may roar, but they cannot cross it.
23 But these people have stubborn and rebellious hearts; they have turned aside and gone away.

What will become of those who denounce the wrod of God? Surely it can not be anything good.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Targets of Parental Alienation Can Sue for Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress'

False accusations and Parental Alienation are terrible acts and all states should have a significant civil remedy for it. The article below discusses a New Jersey case where apparently that is going to happen.
From Henry Gottlieb's "Exes can sue over ruined ties to couple's children" (New Jersey Law Journal, 12/1/08):
For the first time in New Jersey, a judge has recognized the right of parents to collect damages for intentional infliction of emotional distress when their relationships with their children are poisoned by former spouses.
Superior Court Judge Maurice Gallipoli ruled on Nov. 21 that a man can sue his ex-wife and her parents for allegedly turning his children against him by making false accusations that he had committed sexual misconduct.
The central legal issue in the Hudson County case was whether the emotional distress claim was a disguised complaint for alienation of affections, a cause of action New Jersey abolished in 1935.
By then, America no longer believed cuckolded husbands deserved damages from their wives' lovers or that the father of the bride should be able to sue the scoundrel who jilted his daughter.
As recently as two months ago, defendants have invoked the law that abolished such actions — the Heart Balm Act — to win summary dismissal of tort claims alleging that parents and their children had been alienated by ex-spouses or other individuals.
But Gallipoli said an emotional distress claim is separate and distinct from the abolished claim of alienation of affection. "Here, plaintiff is alleging that defendants' alienating conduct has caused him emotional distress," he wrote in Smith v. Smith, Hud-L-1837-08. "Thus emotional distress, not alienation of affections, is the predicate cause of action."
The decision creates the potential for a showdown in the Appellate Division...
Vincent and Rose Marie Smith were divorced in 2007 and though their two children live primarily with her in Guilford, Conn., he is entitled to parenting time at his home in Hoboken.
The damage suit alleges that the ex-wife and her parents, Daniel and Barbara Marese, began alienating the children from the father during the predivorce separation in 2006. The defendants falsely told the children, court-appointed psychiatrists and law enforcement officials that the father was a sex addict and had molested the children in the past, the suit says.
And it says the children are afraid to sleep at their father's house because they have been told they are in danger of being sexually abused.
The wife and her parents denied the allegations and argued in motions to dismiss the suit for failure to state a claim that the Heart Balm Act had eliminated the cause of action. Indeed, they pointed out, the term "alienating the children" is what the complaint calls the alleged wrong.
The defense supported its motion by citing three rulings in which courts had relied on the Heart Balm Act to throw out damage claims involving children.
Gallipoli brushed aside two of the precedents as irrelevant from a factual or legal standpoint. The third, Rand's decision in Segal, was on point but wrong, Gallipoli said.
In dismissing the father's claim in Segal, Rand wrote, "To sustain a claim for such damages would result in a revival of evils not unlike those banned in 1935 and would be an exceptionally ineffective technique for resolving matrimonial differences or custody disputes."
In recognition of the family court's role, Gallipoli ruled that if Smith wants to seek damages from his ex-wife he must do it in a post-judgment proceeding in family court. It would still be a damage claim and the family court has the power to arrange jury trials. Because the grandparents were not parties to the divorce action, the case against them can continue in the civil court, the judge ruled.
Plaintiff's lawyer Resnick says suits like his have been rare because parents and their lawyers have been content to fight for equitable relief in custody battles.
"They feel the ultimate sanction of a transfer of custody is enough," he says.
"But it's not enough because they still do it," he says of parents who make false accusations to get the edge in custody battles. "They are never afraid of losing custody, so the only other thing to do is hit them in the pocketbook or the wallet."

Enjoy your snow day!

Enjoy your snow day boys and congrats JJ for being Student of the Week! Awesome job.

Lee PAS Community call December 18th, 2008 8PM CST

The Lee PAS Foundation's Community Call (Join in) Host: The Lee PAS Foundation - theleepasfoundation@yahoo.com Episode: EPISODE15 - The Lee PAS Foundation's Community Call The Lee PAS Foundation will be holding our Talkshoe on Thursday December 18, 2008 at 7pm EST LIVE DURING THE CEREMONY!!! (not 9pm!) 724-444-7444 Talkcast ID# 26868. This is for Lighting Of The Candles Worldwide which is a project of Three Sides To Every Story. Don Hutter Jr will be joining us tonight, and a special Thank you to Bessie will be announced. We are hoping she will join us as well. We are asking everyone to â??call inâ?? that is having a vigil, either in your home, or in your town with the community, and please keep your phones muted until after the ceremony so that everyone can listen in to our show. There are 2 locations in New Jersey holding the vigil, contact Katrina for North NJ Ridgewood Town Square, 908-303-4817 or Jim for Central NJ by Rutgers, at 609-306-2978. COME OUT AND JOIN US! This is a very special Holiday Vigil as you all know. A candle lit for our children, telling them how much we love themâ?¦..how much we miss themâ?¦Ã¢?¦ Please contact me via email at theleepasfoundation@yahoo.com, prior to the event, or http://www.lightingcandlesworldwide.com/, so I can announce where everyone is holding a vigil across the nation! (This includes those of you doing so at home) Call ID: 26868
Personal Message from the Host:
Charles Jamieson has been a lawyer for 30 years. He graduated from Dartmouth College , magna cum laude in 1975 and earned his Juris Doctorate (J.D.) from the University of Maine School of Law in 1978. During his 30 years of legal practice, he has frequently dealt with highly contentious divorce/family law cases. Consequently, he has represented parents in cases involving alienation/estrangement issues throughout the State of Florida and the United States . In doing so, he has acted as lead counsel or as consultant to parents and their attorneys. Mr. Jamieson has given presentations on parental alienation issues to attorneys and to lay people. He has written about parental alienation, most recently in his blog. He also has provided commentary on parental alienation for radio and television. His topic tonight is â??Parental Alienation: Where Parents, Mental Health Professionals, and the Courts Collideâ??.Scheduled Time: Date: Thu, December 18, 2008 Time: 07:00 PM EST How to participate: Call in:
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Enter: 26868 # (Call ID)
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Friday, December 12, 2008

I love and miss you JD


A MOM's Love never dies, you are LOVED more than you will ever know JD!

Get Well JJ


Hope you are feeling better soon. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART

Non Custodial rights to Education and Medical decissions. More PAS information

In many states, consistent violations of a custody order can be grounds for changing custody, especially if the custodial parent is alienating the children with negative remarks and withholding information about the children from the noncustodial parent. The key to this is to DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT...

Resisting or refusing to cooperate by not allowing the other parent access to school or medical records and schedules of extracurricular activities is a violation of the divorce court order. By engaging in this activity it can cause the custodial parent to loose not only custody, but CAN in cases cause them to loose those given rights themselves. If you are a non-custodial parent, execise your FERPA rights. Surprise the alienator, they will not like it when you take a proactive step in helping your children, they CAN NOT STOP YOU...YOU HAVE RIGHTS AS A PARENT CUSTODY OR NO CUSTODY.

How Does Alienation Occur?
The alienating parent may use a number of techniques, including but not limited to:
Encouraging the child to pretend the other parent doesn't exist. This can range from not allowing the child to mention the other parent's name to refusing to acknowledge that the child has fun with the other parent.
Leading the child to believe it is his or her choice as to whether or not to spend time with the other parent.
Discussing court battles between the parents with the child, and encouraging the child to take sides.
Making the child think there is reason to be afraid of the other parent.
Lying about how the other parent treats the child. If this is done frequently enough, the child may begin to believe even preposterous suggestions.
Rewriting history, such as suggesting to the child that the other parent never cared for him or her, even as an infant. The child has no memory of prior events and so can't determine whether the alienating parent is telling the truth or not.

An alienting custodial parent does not care to inform you if there was a sickness, a medical event (such as getting 2nd and 3rd degree burns, having strep and not being able to attend school) they should know about, school grades (failing grades because no one is helping the child with their homework. Schools CAN NOT teach if you do not teach at home it takes educationg at school AND home for a child to benifit from education) or school events.(such as graduations, school plays, concerts, field trips in which the non custodial parent could help chaperone the class and have special time with the child) Take charge, because you have RIGHTS. USE THEM.

FYI: Penalties for Contempt. Under C.C.P. § 1218(a), a person found guilty of contempt may be fined up to $1,000, or imprisoned for up to five days, or both. In addition, a recent amendment allows the court to award reasonable attorneys' fees and costs for the contempt proceedings to the charging party if the convicted contemnor is a party or agent of a party.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

While reading my bible today..

I never know where my bible will take me from day to day. I just open it up and start reading whatever chapter the bible opens to. Today it opened to the book of Enoch, it has been a long time since I had read the book of Enoch. Within Enoch it talks of the parables. Parables are stories to learn lessons from, it also speaks of the book of life.

Is your name in the book of life? This lead me to study reasons for not being included in the book of life. The first, not TRUELY accepting God into your life. But there are other reasons.

So I went to the net to use the online bible studies to find references as to why a person may not be included in the book of life, and here is some of what I found. By the way, when you need answers, remember our bibles are LIVING, they speak to us when we need spoken to.

"He who works deceit shall not dwell within my house; He who tells lies shall not continue in my presence" Psalm 101:7

This passage is in reference to telling lies. People who are deceitful are unable to truly understand God. If they understood God, they would change their ways. God warns us against lying. Not only are we not to lie to brethren, we are not to lie to anyone. If we are lying, whether it is habitually lying or telling what many people call white lies ", we need to discontinue lying. Lies do NOT come in colors. A lie is a lie. You don't sugar-coat lies. Wrong is wrong and there are no two ways about it. We need to pray that we will stop the lying. Not only are we being deceptive, we are placing ourselves in spiritual jeopardy. We need to pray that we are released from this endangerment. This will also take strength and action on our part. The penalty that is to be dealt out to liars by God is of the harshest kind. Liars are absolutely kept out from heaven. Those found guilty of this sin are separated from the face of God and cast into the lake of fire.

"You shall destroy those who speak falsehood; The Lord abhors the bloodthirsty and deceitful man" Psalm 5:6
" But the cowardly, unbelieving, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death." Revelation 21:8
" Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord" Hebrews 12:14
" But outside are dogs and sorcerers and sexually immoral and murderers and idolaters, and whoever loves and practices a lie." Revelation 22:15

The bible says that those who lie will be cast into the Lake of Fire, I don't know about you, but I think I would rather spend my eternity in heaven feasting and fellowshipping than in a firepit. That would really hurt.

Monday, December 8, 2008

An interesting comment left on the blog today...


"Anonymous said...
Someone needs to help these kids get out of there. I know
these people. The old lady has had her kids stealing for her for years. There
used to be a little bar next door the their land, she had her sons break in.
They stole several neon beer lights and snacks from the building. I know more. I
will email you. Anyone who has ever gotten involved with these people have ended
up in trouble and on drugs. "

When I got up and going this morning this comment was on the blog. This is very intersting. I can not wait for the promised email. Who knows what else this commenter knows.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Psychiatric care and counseling on the way.

Last week I received notice that the boys will start seeing a psychiatrist as well as a counselor. The psych will be assisting them with medication because they have been on the same medication for two different diagnoses, and the counselor will be helping them work through a lot of other problems.
Here is the thing about that, I have NEVER nor will EVER believe that the oldest is Bi-Polar, this means if he is NOT, then he will no longer qualify to draw SSI and someone’s paycheck will decrease.
Either way, SSI will be looking into a LOT of things that are going on there at the compound anyway. Thats another FEDERAL area.. hmmmm

Stealing from a child UPDATE: Charges have been filed.

This adult (you know who you are, how stupid of you to leave tracks that can be traced) stole MY 13YO childs cell phone. People in this world really are sick. But here is where this will go.....

The ADULT, who knows who they are will be going to JAIL!

If your phone or your childs phone that is in your name is ever stollen here are some tips to take care of the situation....

1) Call your cell phone provider
2) file a report with the police.
3) Ask your cell phone provider to open an investigation to provide to the police the numbers called from your stollen phone.
4) FIle a report with the FCC, the state attorney general, and your public utilities commision.

The court will let you know when to be present. Be present and push for the max that can be given to the person who stole your childs phone.

Some people have no morals and values.
To the person who stole MY son's phone, which is in MY name...I WILL post the documents from your court with your name on them when I recieve my copy so the whole world will know what scum you are for stealing from a child. People handling stolen property is an offence under the Penal Code (2006 revision), which carries a punishment of imprisonment for fourteen years. I would love nothing more to see you behind bars for stealing a childs phone and I WILL push this as far as it will go. It's time to stop playing your games. The GAME is UP. CHECK MATE..

UPDATE: IMPERSONATING MY CHILD WILL GET YOU AN ENTERNITY IN HELL.....
To those reading this blog, the person who knows who they are has sent a text ACTING like they are my son. I have reported that to the police as well.
I am quite sure the DOC will be more than happy to help in this matter as well. CRIME DOES NOT PAY YA'LL
You see, giving the phone back and thinking it will all go away will not make it go away. There are the phone records, and they show who the calls were made to. A call to the numbers called gave confirmation of who was using the phone. So it WILL NOT GO AWAY.
You stole from a child and you stole from me.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Controling Mother Creating a "Momma's Boy" Part #2

Are your children dependent on you for everything?
Has your home become a revolving door for your adult children? Should you keep bailing your children out of their problems?

It is hard to say “no” to your children when you see them suffer. We want to give them a soft place to fall.
There is a fine line between helping and enabling. Children can become dependent on their parents, rather than becoming self-sufficient.
Gary Buffone, author of Choking on the Silver Spoon, Keeping Your Kids Heathy, Wealthy and Wise in a Land of Plenty, states that the more money children receive, the less they accumulate, while those who are given few dollars accumulate more.
You need to ask yourself why you want to bail out your children. Is it protecting you from pain, a source of power, to avoid loneliness, or some other reason that doesn’t have to do with your childrens’ well-being?

What happens to children who become completly dependent upon a parent?
1) The adult children do not work
2) The adult children still live at home far past the time to grow their wings and fly
3) The adult children have no life of their own, they are only an extenson of the enabeling parent.
4) The adult children do not know how to pay their own bills or balance their check and or savings accounts.
5) Hope is lost that they will be able to provide for themseves in the furture.
6) The adult children are not able to stay in a commited relationship with another adult.

A parent who makes a child independent upon them are often enablers. So lets take a look at what an enabler is:
Here is an example:
The parents of a drug addict who let their grown up offspring stay in their home despite the fact that they continually refuse to acknowledge or get help for their drug abuse. The parent often supports the addict financially or cleans up after them when they are physically ill or destroy parts of the house. If he/she does happen to be employed they may call in sick on their behalf and make excuses for them. The parents hesitate to confront the son/daughter because they think it will somehow make things worse. In reality though, just letting them go on abusing drugs does absolutely nothing to help them. So the support they offer is in fact supporting the drug abuse and not stopping it. If the son/daughter can go on abusing drugs with no consequences they have no motivation to stop. If their bills are being paid for and someone is cleaning up after them and making excuses for them they pretty much have it made in their own eyes. (not withstanding the health issues which they tend to ignore anyway)

The primary job of a parent is to prepare their children for how the world really works. We teach and train our children from childhood the knowledge and skills necessary to become independent adults, self-sufficient and upstanding members of society. In the real world, you don’t always get what you want. Many young adults today have unrealistic expectations when they initially go out on their own. Many feel they are entitled to immediately live a middle-class life style (or better), because that’s what they’re used to, and because they haven’t learned that there is a difference between helping and enabling. They weren’t born, or were very young children, during the years their parents struggled to make ends meet, pay their bills (and on time), having to eat hot dogs and beans instead of steak dinners, struggling to live within their means.

You see, enablers act the way they do out of a sense of misguided love and/or concern. While enabling is generally intended to protect a person from their problem(s), eventually the enabling becomes a part of the problem and one additional obstacle standing in the way of a solution.

Controlling Mother creating a "Momm'a Boy" Part #1

Some mothers prepare for 18 years to let their children go out into the world. Other mothers spend 18 years trying to keep them children, and fear the day they will loose them.

Let’s review some of the traits of the Control Freak:
• Black and white thinking• Control of conversation• Must be “right”• Attempt to prove you wrong• Rewrite history to make their point• Use of intimidation • Rigid • Coercion and forced agreements• Shaming

Control Freaks are not only domineering, but tenacious as well. They are like a bulldog with a bone—there is absolutely no way you will dissuade them from their point of view. Any attempt to do so will only lead to frustration on your part. They are relentless, narrowly focused, and doggedly determined.

Mother's boy, also called mama's boy, is a term for a man who is excessively attached to his mother at an age when men are expected to be independent (e.g. live on their own, be economically independent). A mother's boy may be effete or effeminate, or might be perceived as being macho, or might have a personality disorder, such as avoidant personality disorder, or might be schizophrenic, so that the mother acts as a caretaker. In any case, a mother's boy cannot maintain a healthy partnership with a woman.
A mother-bonded man is seen to give control of his own life to his mother, in exchange for a sense of security.

So what defines a "Momma's Boy" ?
1) A grown male still dependent on his mother.
2) A grown male who allows or desires his mother to control most aspects or decisions of his life for him.
3) One who cannot make decessions for himself and has to have his mothers approval no matter right or wrong.
4) One who needs to hear from or see his mother on a daily basis and definately more then once.
5) He has a mommy who still calls the shots.
6) An immiture adult male who refuses to grow up by allowing his mommy to run his life.

What makes a "Momma's Boy" ? A Controlling MOTHER...........

My Responce to "I hear the old man and lady dont need the money"


I have been busy making a living and just now have the time to respond the comment left by the person who just loves to take stabs at me. You stated to me "I hear the old man and lady do not need the money"
Well if you think they do not then why could they not pay these bills?
These are financial related. If you would like to look at the cases yourself here is the link:
https://www.courts.mo.gov/casenet/cases/nameSearch.do
If you are not familiar with how to use casnet, you type in a persons name and it returns what information the site has on that person.

Forensic Psychiatric Evaluation

Just what is a Forensic Psychiatric Evaluation and how it should (and in our case will) be used in a custody battle.

Here is what a Forensic Psych Evaluation is:
Forensic evaluations generally contain the following components:


Psychiatric mental status examination.
Psychological assessment.
Review of pertinent medical records, discovery and evidentiary deposition transcripts, school records, work product

Mental Status Examination

The mental status examination is a face-to-face examination between the psychiatric physician and the patient. The purpose of the examination is to determine the function of elements of mental and brain activity. For instance, thought is examined to determine if the person can logically go from point "A" to point "B" in his thinking. Thought is also examined to determine the presence or absence of circumstantial thinking, loose associations, or other determinants of abnormal mental function. Content of the thinking is examined for delusional thoughts, morbid ideas, perceptual distortions, suicidal/homicidal ideas, or other signs of mental pathology. Language is examined for expressive and receptive function, repetition errors, and to determine if the person can properly take mental ideas and convert them to motor acts.

Orientation to person, place, and time is determined. Gross memory ability is determined. Evaluation of the mental stream of activity, mood, range of affect, and thought and motor speeds is completed. The mental status examination is a qualitative examination, and quantified elements of the mental examination are determined by standardized mental assessment.

Neurological Examination

The neurological examination is a physical examination performed by the physician. The purpose of the examination is to measure gross neurological functioning of input and output nerves of the brain, as well as cerebral-hemisphere functioning.

Psychological Assessment

The psychological assessment evaluates personality and psychopathology using standard tests. Typically, this assessment provides information concerning the following:


Psychopathology
Functional intellectual capacity.
Current and preinjury academic ability estimates.
Forensic distortion analysis.

Neuropsychological Examination

The neuropsychological evaluation measures brain functions in a systemic and standardized fashion. At Lexington Forensic Neuropsychiatry, we generally measure the following in suspected adult brain injury:


Attention and concentration.
Language and language-related skills.
Spatial and constructional skills.
Sensory perceptual skills.
Memory.
Motor and visual-motor skills.
Executive functions.
Test intelligence.
Psychopathology.
Measures providing estimate of preinjury function.
Forensic distortion analysis.

Custody evaluations are not confidential because the written report is distributed to the attorneys and the judge and may eventually become evidence in a public trial. Both children and parents need to be aware how this kind of evaluation differs from an ordinary meeting with a psychiatrist

Parents' finances. Although the court may separate the financial details of the divorce settlement from the custody case, the clinician's acquire general knowledge of each parent's finances and earnings potential in order to assess any effects upon the child.

A Fprensic Psychiatric evaluation helps prove if a parent is "Fit" or "UnFit"

Exploring the reasons that a parent would be deemed unfit to raise a child I found these:

The definition of an unfit parent is governed by state laws, which vary by state. A parent may be deemed unfit if they have been abusive, neglected, or failed to provide proper care for the child. A parent with a mental disturbance or addiction to drugs or alcohol may also be found to be an unfit parent.

This is where a forensic psychiatric evaluation helps. The final report will show indicators, or blatent information proving such a condition exist. Along with the evaluation report and documents from agencies such as CPS, arrest records, statements raken from witness, medical records, etc are all used to determine the fitness of the parents. If a parent is proven to be unfit by any of these natures a judge CAN remove the parent from the childs life entirely by terminating their rights. I myself do not think that any parent should be removed completly from a childs life, even in grave circumstances as children need both parents. But providing the best interest of the child is imparative for the wellbeing of the children.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

This is beautiful



A Dear friend sent this to me.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Milking the ADHD Cash Cow

Very interesting read, alarming statistics:
http://www.eagleforum.org/educate/2006/july06/adhd.html
By Evelyn Pringle
"Our society viewed with loathing those who 'pushed' stimulant drugs on children," says child psychiatrist Dr. Peter Breggin. "Yet today, there are more children taking Ritalin and amphetamines from doctors than ever received them from illegal pushers," he says.
"Parents and teachers and even doctors have been badly misled by drug company marketing practices," he warns. "Drug companies have targeted children as a big market likely to boost profits and children are suffering as a result."
The marketing campaign referred to by Dr. Breggin has proven to be extremely successful. At a Feb. 10, 2006, FDA advisory committee hearing, it was reported by Dr. Andrew Mosholder, a medical officer in the FDA's Office of Drug Safety, that about 2.5 million children in this country between the age 4 and 17, currently take ADHD drugs. A government survey found 9.3% of 12-year-old boys, and 3.7% of 11-year-old girls are on the drugs, he said.ÿ
In 1980, the so-called Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), which amounts to little more than a list of behaviors, was voted into existence as a mental illness by the American Psychiatric Association, so it could be included in the psychiatric billing Bible known as the Diagnostic & Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders, DSM.
In 1987, an H was added to the label and the illness became, "Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder."ÿ Within one year, 500,000 children in the US were diagnosed with this cash-cow disorder.
A few years later, it was classified as a disability and a cash incentive program was initiated for low-income families with children diagnosed with ADHD. A family could get $450 a month for each child diagnosed with the disorder, and the cost of treatment and medication for low-income children would be covered by Medicaid.
Then in 1991, schools began receiving educational grants of $400 annually for each ADHD child. The same year, the US Department of Education classified the disorder as a handicap, which required special services to be provided to each disabled child.
By 1996, close to $15 billion was spent annually on the diagnosis, treatment, and study of the so-called attention deficit disorder.
Over roughly the past 2 years, public health officials in the US, Canada and the UK have issued warnings about previously known, but undisclosed, risks associated with the stimulant drugs used to treat ADHD.
In September 2005, Canadian public health officials asked drug makers to turn over data from all clinical trials and post-marketing reports for the medications by the end of 2005 to be reviewed in 2006.
The Feb. 2006 hearings represent the third time in two years that the FDA has addressed the heart related side effects of ADHD drugs. This charade is beginning to look more and more like a repeat of the Vioxx debacle.
Senator Grassley rebukes FDA Foot-dragging earned the FDA a rebuke from Senator Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa), chairman of the Senate Committee on Finance, which has exclusive jurisdiction over the Medicare and Medicaid programs which, according to Grassley, pay hundreds of millions of dollars for prescription drugs each year, including drugs used to treat ADHD.
In a Feb. 6, 2006, letter to acting FDA commissioner, Dr. Andrew von Eschenbach, Senator Grassley said in part, "I remain concerned that while both psychiatric and cardiovascular risk signals have cropped up across this class of drugs this past year, it appears that FDA is just now beginning to 'discuss approaches' for studying these risks."
"More specifically," Grassley wrote, "I question why it has taken nearly an entire year for FDA to begin to address these concerns given the serious nature of the adverse events associated with these drugs."
In the letter, Senator Grassley noted that the FDA recently announced upcoming meetings of two different advisory committees to examine different ways of studying adverse events related to ADHD drugs when studies showing the risks had already been done. He accused the FDA of taking a slow approach to regulating the drugs.
As examples of risk already established, Grassley pointed out that in Feb. 2005, cardiovascular concerns raised in adverse event reports led Canadian health officials to suspend market authorization of Adderall XR for six months due to a review of safety information from Shire that showed 20 international reports of sudden death and that in 2004, the FDA required Shire to include the risk of sudden death on the label.
He noted that last summer, the safety of the drugs was called into question when the FDA publicly stated that it had concerns about psychiatric side effects from the use of Concerta and specifically stated on its website that it had "identified two possible safety concerns with the methylphenidate drug products: psychiatric adverse events and cardiovascular adverse events."
Senator Grassley also pointed out that in Sept. 2005, the FDA issued an alert to healthcare professionals regarding the use of Strattera, after reviewing data showing an increase in suicidal thoughts in 12 separate studies, and directed Eli Lilly, to "revise the labeling . . . to include a boxed warning and additional warning statements regarding an increased risk of suicidal thinking in children and adolescents."
As an added pressure, Grassley asked for a complete list of participating panel members' names and a complete list of conflict disclosures for both the Feb. 9-10, 2006, advisory committee and the Mar. 22, 2006, Pediatric Advisory Committee.
Dangerous side-affect revealed The latest report made public by the FDA at the Feb. 2006 hearings, said that between 1999 and 2003, there were 25 deaths in persons using ADHD drugs, including the deaths of 19 children. Officials also admitted to receiving reports of more than 50 cases of cardiovascular problems, including stroke, heart attack, hypertension, palpitations and arrhythmia.
The report only covers a four year period and because only between 1 and 10% of adverse events are ever reported, the numbers above represent a gross understatement of actual cases of harm from these drugs.
The report could not have considered the increase in emergency room visits associated with Ritalin abuse alone over the past decade. According to the Drug Abuse Warning Network, while there were 271 Ritalin-related emergency room visits in 1990, there were 1,478 Ritalin-related visits in 2001.
According to the National Institute of Drug Abuse, in 1999, some 165 Ritalin-related poison calls were made in Detroit; 419 cases were reported in Texas, and only 114 of those cases involved intentional misuse or abuse.
While the FDA foot-dragging has continued for years, the drug companies have been making a fortune by pushing the exact same pills that have been pedaled on the street for 50 years under names like black beauties, yellow jackets, uppers, white crosses, and bennies.
These are the same drugs that were handed out like candy in the 1960s and 1970s, when prescribed under the guise of diet pills, and used by truckers to stay awake, by entertainers and athletes to perform, and by people who wanted to party for days in the general population, until they were banned.
The drugs contain the same amphetamine that was THE main ingredient in the once popular "B-12" injections given weekly to wealthy patients in doctor's offices all over the country until they were banned.
Billions in profits for Big Pharma So here we are in 2006, with Pharma making a killing by selling dangerous drugs that have been outlawed time and time again. What kind of profits are we looking at?ÿ As of Sept. 2005, Walgreen's prices for a 30-day supply for the lowest dosage of the top selling drugs were:
Methylphenidate (generic Ritalin) $15.69
Ritalin (brand name): $27.79
Amphetamine/dextroamphetamine (generic Adderall): $47.09
Adderall (brand name): $94.49
Concerta: $103.99
Strattera: $123.99
According to Dr. Mosholder, since March 2002, prescriptions written for adults rose by 90%, to about 1 million a month as of June 2005, and to about 2 million a month for children.
If the three million people are on the lowest priced Ritalin, a round number of $30 per month times 3 million would create over $1 billion a year for the drug company alone. Then add medical and psychological professional fees and the grand total easily exceeds $2 billion per year. If patients are on Adderall, the cost of the drug triples to over $3 billion a year.
The money earned by prescribing shrinks is nothing to sneeze at either. A 2003 American Psychological Association study on "financial disincentives" for psychotherapy found that doctors could earn about $263 an hour for doing three 15-minute "medication management" sessions, versus about $156 for a single 45- to 50-minute therapy session. That represents a pay cut of 41% an hour for doing therapy only, the study determined.
However, hopefully we are about to see a dwindling of the above profit margins. On Feb. 10, 2006, the Drug Safety and Risk Management advisory committee said ADHD drugs should carry the strongest warning label that they may be linked to an increased risk of death and injury.
One of the committee members who pushed for the label, cardiologist Steven Nissen, said something must be done to curtail the prescription rates. "I feel strongly we need to slow the growth of utilization," he said. "When you have that kind of exposure for drugs that are suspicious, that does create a major public health concern," he added.
Recreational drug use in colleges This legally prescribed speed is being passed around between students in schools and colleges all over the nation. A 2002 study by the University of Wisconsin estimated that one of five college students takes Adderall, many for recreational reasons.
On July 25, 2005, CBS News reported that "Adderall and Ritalin have in fact become 'street drugs' at America's colleges and universities, where prescription stimulants often replace coffee and CliffsNotes as the study aids for today's college students."
According to Dr. Sean Esteban McCabe, interim director of the University of Michigan Substance Abuse Research Center, a recent survey found that 6.9% of American college students have taken prescription stimulants illicitly, and up to 25% at certain elite universities with high academic pressures and admission standards.
The study canvassed students at 119 four-year colleges and universities nationwide and was published in the January 2005 issue of the journal Addiction. The focus of the study was the non-medical use of Ritalin, Dexedrine and Adderall.
Based on his survey, Dr. McCabe found that prescription stimulant abuse tends to lead to higher rates of other drug abuse and driving while drinking. The survey found that students who used a prescription stimulant non-medically in the past year were 10 times more likely to report the use of marijuana, 20 times more likely to use cocaine, and 5 times more likely to report driving after binge drinking.
On Dec. 5, 2005, the Nashville, Tennessee based newspaper, The Tennessean, reported that athletes aren't the only ones popping pills to gain a competitive edge. "College students are turning to prescription stimulants such as Adderall and Ritalin to get them through late-night cram sessions, risking potential side effects and unknown long-term effects for a chance at a better grade," it wrote.
More than 50 college newspapers have published articles describing Adderall abuse on campus according to CBS News.
Springboard into addiction For school age children, these drugs are providing a springboard into early addiction. Over the past few years, high school students have been busted for using the legal speed all across the country.
For instance, on March 16, 2001, in Norwich, Connecticut, three eighth-graders were hospitalized when they overdosed on Adderall at school.
On Sept. 12, 2002, NBC TV News reported that 11 students were transported to Antelope Valley and Lancaster Community Hospital in Los Angeles, California for treatment of possible overdose from Ritalin. The school confiscated a large amount of Ritalin pills. "I would say in excess of 150," said school principal Mark Bryant.
In three separate cases in 2004, Tucson, Arizona area students were caught with Adderall. Six Catalina Foothills High School students were suspended for taking or possessing Adderall while on campus, according to Pima County Sheriff's Department reports.
Two Ironwood Ridge High School students, ages 15 and 17, were cited for exchanging Adderall in Jan. 2004, according to an Oro Valley, Arizona police report. And six football players at Millennium High School in Goodyear, Arizona were disciplined by the Agua Fria Union High School District for taking Adderall before a game.
In both of the Tucson cases, students who had legal prescriptions for Adderall brought the pills to school and gave them to classmates.
On Oct. 13, 2005, a 17-year-old Waukesha, Wisconsin boy was arrested on felony charges for possession of Adderall, after the car he was riding in was stopped for a broken taillight.
On Jan. 20, 2006, Florida Okaloosa County Sheriff Department received word that a student at Richbourg Middle School had illegally shared the prescription drug Adderall. "Unfortunately and sadly," Sheriff Rick Hord told reporters, "the news value may not be how unusual this is but rather how common it is."
"We've had 22 cases so far that have been investigated primarily by the resource officers but in a couple of incidents by other deputies, of drugs on campus at just about every school you can name," he said.
On Feb. 7, 2006, two Harrington, Delaware middle school students were arrested for distributing Adderall at WT Chimpan Middle School over a period of 3 months. Both students were expelled.
An alternative: behavioral therapy William Pelham, a well-known researcher involved with clinical trials of both Concerta and Adderall, says a major study, sponsored by the National Institute of Mental Health, showed that behavioral therapy often eliminates the need for drugs altogether.
During a one-year trial, he told TheStreet.com, 75% of the children who relied on behavioral treatments functioned well without the drugs. Moreover, he added, most of those children remained off the drugs a full year later.
"What this means to me is that two-thirds of ADHD kids could be taken off the medications," Pelham told TheStreet.com. "I do think they are grossly overused as a first line of intervention," he added.
According to Dr. Peter Breggin: "We are encouraging a generation of youngsters to grow up relying on psychiatric drugs rather than on themselves and other human resources." Breggin added, "In the long run," he warns, "we are giving our children a very bad lesson, that drugs are the answer to emotional problems."

So the point is this:
The drugs are killing our children either directly from sudden death, indirectly becuase they spike other health issues, and the drugs are a gateway to hard core drugs later down the line.

The pharm companies are getting rich, the doctors are getting rich and our
kids are on SSI and Medicaid.

If you have a decent health insurance plan you DO NOT NEED ANY OF THIS.....
It is sick to know that Children are cash cows to companies, doctors, and to parents who REFUSE TO GROW UP AND WORK.

Simply put... If you do not want to work, if you are using your kids for a free ride.. GROW UP!

A REAL ADULT, A REAL PARENT WORKS FOR A LIVING AND TAKES RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR CHILDREN NEEDING MEDICAL ATTENTION, THEY DO NOT DEPEND ON THE SYSTEM TO PAY THEIR WAY.

THERE IS NO MAGIC PILL TO MAKE IT ALL BETTER. It takes more than just a pill, it takes other resources, there are theropy's to help combat the illness.




Sunday, November 30, 2008

Saturday, November 29, 2008

8 year old Arizona boy Christian Romero murders his father and family friend

I have been following the case of eight year old Christian who lived in Arizona with his father and step mother; he killed his father and a boarder of the home who worked with his father at a local plant. There is a gag-order placed on the details of this case but there are still some media leaks that are starting to spell the story out in more detail.
I have seen a lot of comments on this tragic case, and tragic it is. The more I read about this the more I am really starting to see more of a need for help for our children. As atrocious of a crime as this is, there is just something more to it that I am sure will be spelled out in the coming months.
From what I have gathered so far, the father took the child from the mother. The mother lives in Mississippi ironically. The father was remarried to another woman who spanked the boy most recently for leaving some papers at school. The media spoke to Dr. Shannon Fox to try and get a better understanding how this kind of crime could have happened in this family. Dr. Fox said that children that kill fit one of the three following categories: 1. Abused: It's estimated that 90% of children who kill were severely abused. They don't have a history of other disruptive behavior, but often times have tried to tell someone in authority about the abuse. When no one comes to their rescue, they might see murder as the only escape from a terrible situation. 2. Mental disorder: If a child is suffering from paranoia, they might be so distanced from reality that they commit murder without realizing exactly what is going on. This is extremely rare and would usually be identified earlier by teachers or other children who thought the child strange.3. Antisocial: Most commonly referred to as sociopaths, these children have a history of disregard for authority. They might kill as a means of getting something they want. They will typically show no remorse or fear of consequences.
In another article I read, the grand parents of the boy made a statement. They state that if any child was capable of this crime it was their grandson. So if they really felt this way, WHY IN THE HELL did they not advocate to try and get this boy some help. If they do believe this, there must have been warning signs, red flags of some sort. In my opinion some people along the way have really failed this child and I do not see this case being the last of this kind that we will hear about, and it certainly is not the first of its kind either.
It has now come out that this boy kept a tally on the spankings he received over his life. That speaks that this child has great intelligence, to be able to ledger the abuse. The tally is at 1000 spankings from what is being said.
Now here is the kicker, the more that comes out the sicker I get to my stomach about this case. Drugs played a role in this case somehow. Timothy Romans, the man who was nesting in a rented room at the family home is a known drug dealer. His wife has stated that she is in the process of divorcing him. My question is, did the father of Christian know that Romans was dealing? You can bet your sweet ass he knew and he more than likely was dealing and or using himself.
When this story first come to light, there were talks about just how great the family was, now all this information is coming to light. The family was not exactly as they portrayed themselves as were they?
My heart really goes out to this boy. He had to be in some serious pain in order to act out this crime. And NO ONE took the time to notice the signs and now a child, just a baby has committed murder. I know we still do not know the entire story but I pray that Christian’s mother takes the opportunity to use the case of her child in order to help adopt better policy’s to see warning signs of a child in distress. If we had better awareness, and better training by those in our education system, something like this can be stopped.
This child is going to need a lot of psychological help in the coming years and he will never have the equality of life that he so deserves, he will have to live the rest of his life with what he has done. And the BLAME… who should that rest on? I vote for the father for failing his child as he did. Having a known drug trafficker/user in his home, for the abuse he inflicted upon this child and for failing to see signs of distress in his own child.

No toiletries-- The Thanksgiving visit

No toiletries were present in the boy’s bags upon being picked up for visitation, not a toothbrush, no deodorant or other form of toiletries were to be found in their possession. How can anyone pack a child’s bags for a stay away from home and not at least pack their toothbrush or a stick of deodorant? Pictures have been taken of what they came with and all articles have been documented along with the picture proof. I ask you, as an adult would you leave home without your toothbrush or deodorant? Just more proof that these boys are not being properly cared for.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

MY Children feel the same only the roles are reversed THEY WANT TO LIVE WITH MOM!!!


My boys feel the same way only their FATHER and GRANDMOTHER are the ones who are keeping them from expresing their feelings. MY BOYS WANT TO BE WITH THEIR MOTHER. BUT THEY ARE AFRAID TO TALK BECAUSE THEY ARE TOLD BY THEIR GRANDMOTHER THAT SHE WILL KILL HERSELF IF THEY WANT TO LIVE WITH THEIR MOTHER. THIS IS CHILD ABUSE PURE AND SIMPLE. I will never stop fighting for you boys, I love you with my entire being.

The PAIFUL TRUTH... THESE THINGS HURT OUR CHILDREN



This is real. And it happens in POPLAR BLUFF, MO it happens under our very own noses. Listen to what he says, they DID NOT LISTEN...
Who pays? OUR CHILDREN PAY.

My sediments exactly


Even though my situation is NOT EXACTLY THE SAME, it is similar. Whe you try and take a chidl awat from a parent, the pain is PAIN no matter how you look at it. Never seeing a report card, only seeing 3 schol pictures, never being invited to school functions, never being let known when there is an emergency, a problem, the PAIN IS REAL....

Who protects our children? COLD HARD FACTS THAT CHILDREN NEED TO HAVE A SAY...



LISTEN TO WHAT HE SAYS< THE FATHER AND THE MOTHER..... NOT THE GRNADPARENT>>
When talking to the school I fould out that the DAD who HAS CUSTODY hasbeen present at a total of 1 MEETINGS concerning the CHILDREN out of the 32 that I KNOW OF THIS FAR. Who was present at the other 31 MEETINGS?

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Scary stuff. Why would someone do this to themselves?

What is an Enabler?

An enabler, is a person who by their actions make it easier for an addict to continue their self-destructive behavior by criticizing or rescuing. The term codependency refers to a relationship where one or both parties enable the other to act in certain maladaptive ways. Many times, the act of the enabler satisfies a need for the codependent person because his or her actions foster a need from the other person or persons in the relationship.
To enable the individual with the addiction, the mutually dependent person makes excuses and lies for the addict, which enables the addiction to continue. Codependency is reinforced by a person’s need to be needed. The enabler thinks unreasonably by believing he can maintain healthy relationships through manipulation and control. He believes he can do this by avoiding conflict and nurturing dependency. Is it normal for someone to think that he can maintain a healthy relationship when he does not address problems and he lies to protect others from their responsibilities? The way a codependent person can continue to foster this dependency from others is by controlling situations and the people around them. The ongoing matter in a codependent home, are to avoid conflicts and problems and to make excuses for destructive or hurtful behavior.
Why does enabling cause so much hurt in a relationship? The power afforded to the mutually dependent person in a relationship support his need for control even if he uses inappropriate means to fulfill his need to be in control. A second and overlooked reason, centers on the contradictory messages and unclear expectations presented by someone who is codependent. These characteristics give to a relationship filled with irrational thoughts and behavior. This kind of relationship has no clear rules to right and wrong behavior. The person(s) unhealthy patterns you enable may be doing one or more of these behaviors.(1) Drinking too much (2) Spending too much (3) Overdrawing their bank account/bouncing checks (4) Gambling too much (5) In trouble with loan sharks/check cashing agencies (6) Working too much/not enough (7) Maxing out the credit cards (8) Abusing drugs (prescription or street drugs) (9) Getting arrested (you are bailing him/her out) (10Any of a number of other unhealthy behaviors/patterns of addiction
Any time you assist/allow another person to continue in their unproductive/unhealthy/addictive behavior, whether actively or passively, you are enabling. Even when you say nothing you are enabling the behavior to continue. Sometimes you say nothing out of fear, fear of reprisal, fear of the other person hurting, hating, not liking you; or fear of butting in where you don’t think you belong. Perhaps even fear of being hit or worse.
Sometimes enabling takes the form of doing something for another that they should do for themselves. It also takes the form of making excuses for someone else’s behavior (example), There are situations where the spouse of an alcoholic will call in to the boss to say that person is “sick”, when they are really too hung over they can’t make it to work.
You more than likely enable out of your own low self-esteem. You haven’t gained the ability to say no, without fear of losing the love or caring of that other person. People who learn tough love have to learn that their former behaviors have been enabling and that to continue in them would represent allowing the other person’s pattern of behavior to continue and to worsen.



How can you recognize a narcissist?
(1) They are the biggest liars you've ever seen. They will look you right in your eyes, swear on a stack of bibles and tell you the biggest lie you've ever heard.
(2) On first meeting a narcissist will engage you directly with their eyes, then they will move away from you. They will make you feel unique and that because they have such a grandiose sense of self worth then their attentions on you also reflect your worth.
(3) A narcissist is, at first glance, a friendly, real person. This is the narcissist's bait. The person lures people in, only to control them, in any shape ore form. You will not recognize this, but as time progresses, you will feel guilty. They steal your relationships with people and haunt your feelings. They are a very special, wicked breed of people, who get away with what they do.
(4) They manipulate and control ... They do not have a significant number of long-term relationships .
(5) Narcissists are by definition liars. They appear to be something they are not. They seem confidant, charming, and social. They are master manipulators and total control freaks. They have no emotions and are void of empathy. They feel for no one but themselves. They are a bottomless pit that is never satisfied. They are incapable of giving and receieving true love.
(6) Their moods and emotions are extreme...and one night they can be crying and sobbing and (sucking you dry for support) and the next day they havnt a worry in the world
(7) They will push and push for what they want until you succumb to their wishes or needs regardless of how you feel about it.
(8) They will be nice as pie to your face and turn around and tell the next person they see and say you are nothing to them.

Narcissist... VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the diagnostic classification system used in the United States, as "a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy." [1]
The narcissist is described as turning inward for gratification rather than depending on others and as being excessively preoccupied with issues of personal adequacy, power and prestige.[2] Narcissistic personality disoTo the extent that people are pathologically narcissistic, they can be controlling, blaming, self-absorbed, intolerant of others’ views, unaware of others' needs and of the effects of their behavior on others, and insistent that others see them as they wish to be seen [4]. They may also demand certain behavior from their children because they see the children as extensions of themselves, and need the children to represent them in the world in ways that meet the parents’ emotional needs [7]. (For example, a narcissistic father who was a lawyer demanded that his son, who had always been treated as the "favorite" in the family, enter the legal profession as well. When the son chose another career, the father rejected and disparaged him.)rder is closely linked to self-centeredness.
These traits will lead overly narcissistic parents to be very intrusive in some ways, and entirely neglectful in others. The children are punished if they do not respond adequately to the parents’ needs. This punishment may take a variety of forms, including physical abuse, angry outbursts, blame, attempts to instill guilt, emotional withdrawal, and criticism. Whatever form it takes, the purpose of the punishment is to enforce compliance with the parents' narcissistic needs[7].

http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.com/2007/09/narcissist-grandparents.html
NPD grandparent will misuse their relationship to their grandchildren will vary. Generally, they will either over-value or under-value the grandchild as a means to get to you. Often, when they over-value, it is the objective of the Ngrandparent to steal the child from you. I mean that in both senses, physically and emotionally. Ngrandparents are known for so much trash-talking against you behind your back to your own child or children that they want to go live with grandma or grandpa, or the Ngrandparents simply inspire rebellion of the child against you. They steal the hearts of the grandchildren. Sometimes, they will battle for physical custody of a grandchild after their slander campaign against you has won them powerful allies. Many times the Ngrandparent has a lot of extra cash to throw around since they are done raising a family. They may successfully exploit the natural selfishness of the child by using cash or toys to lure them. I have read heart-breaking stories of these kinds of situations often enough that I recognize the clear danger any narcissist grandparent represents. They can even steal your children's hearts from you when the children near adulthood with promises of money, houses, cars, college tuition, etc. as bait.


Just saying......

Missouri and Child Support

Child Support Enforcement Office Is Fraught With Errors, says State Auditor
"Noncustodial parents may not be as much of a deadbeat as the state claims." Says State Auditor Susan Montee
JEFFERSON CITY, Mo. (AP) -- State Auditor Susan Montee said Thursday that Missouri's child support enforcement office is fraught with sloppy record-keeping, meaning some noncustodial parents may not be as much of a deadbeat as the state claims.
"It's extremely sloppy," Montee told reporters at a Capitol news conference. "It's a total inattention to making sure these numbers are right."Montee expressed concern that some parents could have child support enforcement actions taken against them -- such as automatic deductions from their paychecks or the revocation of passports -- based on faulty information. But she cited no specific cases where that occurred.The Department of Social Services, which oversees child support collections through its Family Support Division, said it recently has improved the accuracy of arrears tracked in its computerized system.
Rather, auditors randomly examined 209 cases from a pool of 187,033 in which their arrears totaled more than $1,000. Auditors said they did not focus on cases with lesser debts because those typically were just a month or two behind.
Of those sample cases, the amount shown as owed was incorrect 27 percent of the time, the audit said. That included 35 cases in which the amount listed as owed was overstated by anywhere from $1 to $35,432 and 22 cases in which the amount shown as owed was understated by anywhere from $10 to $12,820, the audit said.Applying the error rate from the sampling to the larger pool of 187,033 cases, the audit projected that about 51,000 cases could have errors.Auditors also examined 35 cases with arrears of more than $100,000 and found that 22 of those had incorrect balances owed. Fourteen overstated the debt, including two that were off by about $454,000. Eight understated the debt, including one by $54,691, the audit said.All the errors that auditors found were corrected by the department, Montee said.She described the mistakes as human errors, not computer malfunctions.In some cases, court judgments setting or changing the amount owed by noncustodial parents had not been entered into the computer, either accurately or at all, the audit said. For example, a judge reduced a parent's debt from $309,000 to $84,347 in June 2006 but the change was not entered into the computer until January 2007 after auditors caught the error, the report said. In another case, an April 2003 judgment reducing a parent's debt was not entered into the computer by department staff until March 2007.Other examples of errors included calculating a parent's obligation on a weekly instead of biweekly amount, which increased the supposed debt; failing to note when child support payments were to end, which resulted in the continued accumulation of alleged debt; and failing to reduce parents' debt when a 10-year statute of limitations prevented it from being collected.