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Countdown to DC Fest

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I am thikning about you today BOYS!



Enjoy taking part of the day off from school
Love You More....

Monday, February 23, 2009

The face of child abuse



This video was made to show and educate people that child abusers can be ANYONE....Someone who you think would never ever harm a child.

Report the abuse..don't wait. We all have a duty to protect these children. They can't fight the monsters in their life. Only we can.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Another grandmother who THINKS her grandchild is HERS

Watch the video before reading this post. I am addressing what is said at the VERY END.





The Caylee Anthony case has touched the hearts of most anyone in the world. Her mother still sits in jail, her mother was not present, nor did she ask to be present at the memorial service. Cindy Anthony said some things in her beautiful eulogy that were striking. You see, Cindy thought Caylee was HER baby, she could not accept that Caylee was a grand-daughter. It has been mentioned that at a birthday party for Caylee that Cindy wanted Caylee to call her MOM and that Cindy was helping Caylee open her gifts. In this video, Cindy says God gave her three children.
What Casey Anthony did to little Caylee is wrong by all means, and Casey Anthony really needs some help in so many perspectives, yet with reviewing this eulogy again and catching on to what Cindy says about Caylee being her own it makes you wonder if Casey murdered Caylee because Casey is the baby of the family and her own mother was giving her baby more attention that she was giving her own child. So did Casey feel jilted? This still does not justify what Casey Anthony did to Caylee, but may be a place for psychologist to start working with Casey Anthony.
This should be a wakeup call to all the grandmothers out there who want to have so much control over their grandchildren that they see them as their own, instead of just loving them like they should, like a grandchild, not a child. Grandmothers, you raised your children, you did your job, now let your children raise their children and love their children like your parents let you raise and love yours. Think about how you would have felt when raising your children, if your mother would have taken over your child and you had no say so, no decision making in their rearing, and how it would have affected you directly.

The Caylee Anthony case has touched the hearts of most anyone in the world. Her mother still sits in jail, her mother was not present, nor did she ask to be present at the memorial service. Cindy Anthony said some things in her beautiful eulogy that were striking. You see, Cindy thought Caylee was HER baby, she could not accept that Caylee was a grand-daughter. It has been mentioned that at a birthday party for Caylee that Cindy wanted Caylee to call her MOM and that Cindy was helping Caylee open her gifts. In this video, Cindy says God gave her three children.
What Casey Anthony did to little Caylee is wrong by all means, and Casey Anthony really needs some help in so many perspectives, yet with reviewing this eulogy again and catching on to what Cindy says about Caylee being her own it makes you wonder if Casey murdered Caylee because Casey is the baby of the family and her own mother was giving her baby more attention that she was giving her own child. So did Casey feel jilted? This still does not justify what Casey Anthony did to Caylee, but may be a place for psychologist to start working with Casey Anthony.
This should be a wakeup call to all the grandmothers out there who want to have so much control over their grandchildren that they see them as their own, instead of just loving them like they should, like a grandchild, not a child. Grandmothers, you raised your children, you did your job, now let your children raise their children and love their children like your parents let you raise and love yours. Think about how you would have felt when raising your children, if your mother would have taken over your child and you had no say so, no decision making in their rearing, and how it would have affected you directly.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Help raise the awareness


You can help with this campaign to raise awareness of Parental Alienation inside our communities and schools. Email familycourtisbad@ att.net if you would like to help. Also, to sign up direct to the newsletter you can go to our website at http://www.getyourjusticelive.com/. If you have a blog, please re-post and solicit assistance on this book getting into our libraries using their discretionary fund budgets.

Dr. Amy Baker
I Don't Want to Choose: How Middle School Kids Can...
Dr. Amy JL Baker has co-authored with Katherine Andre, PhD. a new book entitled I Don't Want to Choose: How Middle School Kids Can Avoid Choosing One Parent Over the Other. The book will teach children how to manage loyalty conflicts by: Using Critical Thinking, Considering Options, Being true to themselves, developing coping skills, and more.The book can be read by children alone or with Parents, School professionals, individual therapists, divorce educators, family mediators, and other caring adults.The book is available at Dr. Amy Baker's website for $9.95.

Get Your Justice Live (TM) is an interactive internet talk radio show that focuses on reforming our government, with an often special focus on the anti-family courts within the United States. GET YOUR JUSTICE LIVE EVERY WEDNESDAY and SUNDAY Night (8:00pm EST). To Call In Live During Show Time: 724-444-7444 TALKCAST ID: 39517Do you know a Family Court Judge, CPS employee, or Friend Of The Court Counselor that did something wrong and got away with it? Let us know! Be sure to check out Lary Holland's no-nonsense blog at http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?et=1102468408185&e=001RVAMhTsACE_VA_Fd9g0kY6YPxnBRqN2oymP9pW1Zp_mop0eAAJBKJe4uZZVyMy68Y35T0yEVGohjBLPlmao3urZceDlLOVGZn1TLOcivDR6uz22VP_SE390MwRlfHaKq and Chrissy's blog on Parental Alienation at http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?et=1102468408185&e=001RVAMhTsACE_59u8wd8D9f7emUkful6h69qt90CE335ADEJqTrHkpBt66xAEYbtkY73hhpjob4-7CABDV2yd4vW5go9cybX34O6MCSYDu58pJQELlK_d7IQogOarbhHiy for more great information.
# # #

Were in God's hands


I love these smiles.
Boys were in God's hands, he WILL bring us together again.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

DC Festival 2009


This is the final event in a series of six monthly national public events of the Christian Family Rights movement, all leading up to this bigger, better, gala DC Family Preservation Festival 2009, to happen all over different areas of downtown Washington, DC, on the long weekend of this year's official Parents Day, Sunday, July 26th. For complete details, including a master table of ALL SIX events, with each event's set of links to Facebook, Ning, MySpace, and Yahoo!, plus ways to connect to those event leaders and like-minded people all over the USA - right now - please visit this page: http://unitedcivilrights.org/con... DC Festival 2009, on Facebook: http://apps.facebook.com/causes/... DC Festival 2009, on Ning: http://cnbpinc.ning.com/events/d... DC Festival 2009, on MySpace: http://www.causes.com/myspace/ca... DC Festival 2009, on Yahoo!: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/dc...

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Your parenting class is today

WILL YOU BE A NO SHOW AGAIN?
I cant wait to see what your excuse is this time.
Keep up the good work, you are showing just what a stellar person you really are.

No MAIL? O My.....

And why may I ask did they get no mail? It was sent, even photograph documented. You see, what you people did was yet ANOTHER Federal violation. Your names were not on the mail, it was addressed to the boys. Keep making mistakes, because I am keeping score and getting police reports every time it happens, this occasion is no exception. I guess its all those ADHD drugs you people are chopping up and snorting, or it is the daily consumption of beer? Either way, you people stink worse than last months trash and everyone knows it.

A really sweet lady I know wrote this today and I think it fits well with this mail ordeal.
Hatred is not an emotion that comes naturally to a child. It has to be taught. A parent who would teach a child to hate the other parent represents a grave and persistent danger to the mental and emotional health of that child

Monday, February 16, 2009

Main site has been updated

Its been a little while since I have updated the main site. I have been so busy working on so many things that time just slipped by.

I just want to take the time to Thank the many people, you know who you are who have sent letters of support, provided information, your statements for my legal team and even to those of you who do not agree with the plight. But most of all I want to thank everyone for their prayers. Because of all of you, the positive and negative I have found the strength to fight the fight of my life.

There are days when it seems like time is standing still, and there are days when time fly’s by so fast there is not enough time to get everything done. But in the end it is all coming together in a nice little package.

Please continue to pray, because this is nowhere near being over. But great progressive and positive steps have been made forward in this fight. Ears and eyes are open that once were closed and the evidenc eis speaking for itself.

With all my love,
Stepheny

Interesting....what is the truth?

The One & Only "GJoin the original "Get Off The Bench" which is an
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Do you know a Family Court Judge, CPS employee, or Friend Of The
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SPEAKING OUT - If you think kids aren't used by the States, you are
cordially invited to re-think that. The States, Judges, and Attorneys
fail children, parents, and grandparents. Government bureaucracy
rushes to include everyone in their programs and perpetuate the very
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Do you know a Family Court Judge, CPS employee, or Friend Of The
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A children's advocate typically represents or gives voice to an
individual or group whose concerns and interests are not being heard.
A child advocate will try to prevent children from being harmed and
may try to obtain justice for those who have already been injured in
some way. A child advocate may also seek to ensure that children have
access to positive influences or services which will benefit their
lives such as education, childcare and proper parenting. Malnutrition
is another form of harm-there are many children who go to bed without
eating and it is looked over by DCFS or the police. Child advocates
exist in school, community, and home environments, and work on an
individual, group or governmental level(s) to protect and nurture
children. In most circumstances, mothers, fathers, family and
teachers all advocate on behalf of children, although it is well
recognized that we all have the ability and responsibility to
advocate on behalf of children.

Section 1983

Law Encyclopedia: Section 1983
Section 1983 of title 42 of the U.S. Code is part of the Civil Rights Act of 1871. This provision was formerly enacted as part of the Ku Klux Klan Act of 1871 and was originally designed to combat post-Civil War racial violence in the Southern states. Reenacted as part of the Civil Rights Act, section 1983 is today the primary means of enforcing all constitutional rights.

Section 1983 provides:

Every person who, under color of any statute, ordinance, regulation, custom, or usage, of any State or Territory or the District of Columbia, subjects, or causes to be subjected, any citizen of the United States or other person within the jurisdiction thereof to the deprivation of any rights, privileges, or immunities secured by the Constitution and laws, shall be liable to the party injured in an action at law, suit in equity, or other proper proceeding for redress.
On March 23, 1871, President Ulysses S. Grant sent an urgent message to Congress calling for national legislation that could combat the alarming increase in racial unrest and violence in the South. Congress reacted swiftly to this request, proposing a bill just five days later. The primary objective of the bill was to provide a means for individuals and states to enforce, in the federal or state courts, the provisions of the Fourteenth Amendment. The proposed bill created heated debate lasting several weeks but was eventually passed on April 20, 1871.

During the first ninety years of the act, few causes of action were brought due to the narrow and restrictive way that the U.S. Supreme Court interpreted the act. For example, the phrase "person … [acting] under color of any statute" was not interpreted to include those wrongdoers who happened to be state or municipal officials acting within the scope of their employment but not in accordance with the state or municipal laws. Those officials were successfully able to argue that they were not acting under color of statute and therefore their actions did not fall under the mandates of section 1983. In addition, courts narrowly construed the definition of "rights, privileges, or immunities."

But the Supreme Court decisions in Monroe v. Pape, 365 U.S. 167, 81 S. Ct. 473, 5 L. Ed. 2d 492 (1961), and Monell v. Department of Social Services, 436 U.S. 658, 98 S. Ct. 2018, 56 L. Ed. 2d 611 (1978), finally recognized the full scope of Congress's original intent in enacting section 1983. The Supreme Court began accepting an expansive definition of rights, privileges, or immunities and held that the act does cover the actions of state and municipal officials, even if they had no authority under state statute to act as they did in violating someone's federal rights.

Jurisdiction

Federal courts are authorized to hear cases brought under section 1983 pursuant to two statutory provisions: 28 U.S.C.A. § 1343(3) (1948) and 28 U.S.C.A. § 1331 (1948). The former statute permits federal district courts to hear cases involving the deprivation of civil rights, and the latter statute permits federal courts to hear all cases involving a federal question or issue. Cases brought under section 1983 may therefore be heard in federal courts by application of both jurisdictional statutes.

State courts may also properly hear section 1983 cases pursuant to the Supremacy Clause of Article VI of the U.S. Constitution. The Supremacy Clause mandates that states must provide hospitable forums for federal claims and the vindication of federal rights. This point was solidified in the Supreme Court decision of Felder v. Casey, 487 U.S. 131, 108 S. Ct. 2302, 101 L. Ed. 2d 123 (1988). The Felder case involved an individual who was arrested in Wisconsin and later brought suit in state court against the police officers and city for violations of his federal rights. The state court dismissed the claim because the plaintiff failed to properly comply with a state procedural law. But the Supreme Court overturned the state decision, holding that the Wisconsin statute could not bar the individual's federal claim.

To bring an action under section 1983, the plaintiff does not have to begin in state court. However, if the plaintiff chooses to bring suit in state court, the defendant has the right to remove the case to federal court.

Elements of a Section 1983 Claim

To prevail in a claim under section 1983, the plaintiff must prove two critical issues: a person subjected the plaintiff to conduct that occurred under color of state law, and this conduct deprived the plaintiff of rights, privileges, or immunities guaranteed under federal law or the U.S. Constitution.

A state is not a "person" under section 1983, but a city is a person under the law (Will v. Michigan Department of State Police, 491 U.S. 58, 109 S. Ct. 2304, 105 L. Ed. 2d 45 [1989]). Similarly, state officials sued in their official capacities are not deemed persons under section 1983, but if sued in their personal capacities, they are considered to be persons. Thus if a plaintiff wants to bring a section 1983 claim against a state official, she or he must name the defendants in their personal capacity and not in their professional capacity. Like a state, a territory, such as the territory of Guam, is not considered to be a person for the purposes of section 1983.

The Supreme Court has broadly construed the provision "under color of any statute" to include virtually any state action including the exercise of power of one "possessed by virtue of state law and made possible only because the wrongdoer is clothed with the authority of state law" (United States v. Classic, 313 U.S. 299, 61 S. Ct. 1031, 85 L. Ed. 1368 [1941]). Thus, the wrongdoer's employment by the government may indicate state action, although it does not conclusively prove it. Even if the wrongdoer did not act pursuant to a state statute, the plaintiff may still show that the defendant acted pursuant to a "custom or usage" that had the force of law in the state. In Adickes v. S. H. Kress & Co., 398 U.S. 144, 90 S. Ct. 1598, 26 L. Ed. 2d 142 (1970), the plaintiff was able to prove that she was refused service in a restaurant due to her race because of a state-enforced custom of racial segregation, even though no state statute promoted racial segregation in restaurants.

A successful section 1983 claim also requires a showing of the deprivation of a constitutional or federal statutory "right." This showing is required because section 1983 creates a remedy when rights are violated but does not create any rights itself. It is not enough to show a violation of a federal law because all federal laws do not necessarily create federal rights. A violation of the Fourth Amendment's guarantee against unreasonable searches and seizures or a violation of the Commerce Clause are examples of federal constitutional rights that may be deprived. Deprivation of federal statutory rights is also actionable when it can be shown that the statute creates a federal right. To show that a federal statute creates a federal right, the plaintiff must demonstrate that the federal law was designed and clearly intended to benefit the plaintiff, resulting in the creation of a federal right. For example, the Supreme Court held that a person's entitlement to welfare benefits under the federal Social Security Act is a federal right stemming from a federal statute that can be protected by section 1983 (Maine v. Thiboutot, 448 U.S. 1, 100 S. Ct. 2502, 65 L. Ed. 2d 555 [1980]).

If the plaintiff can demonstrate that a federal law granted her a federal right that was then violated, the defendant can defeat the plaintiff's claim by demonstrating that Congress specifically foreclosed a remedy under section 1983 for the type of injury that the plaintiff is pleading. The Supreme Court has held that the defendant must prove that a section 1983 action would be inconsistent with the cautious and precise scheme of remedies provided by Congress. For example, if a federal law specifically provides for a means to privately enforce that law, or if the statute does not create "rights" within the meaning of section 1983, the defendant may prevail in showing that Congress did not intend a section 1983 remedy to apply in that circumstance. It is the defendant's burden to demonstrate congressional intent to prevent a remedy under section 1983.

Absolute and Qualified Immunities

Although section 1983 does not specifically provide for absolute immunity for any parties, the Supreme Court has deemed that some officials are immune. The Supreme Court reached this conclusion by applying the common-law principles of tort immunity that existed in the United States at the time section 1983 was enacted, assuming that Congress had intended those common-law immunities to apply without having to specifically so provide in the statute. State and regional legislators are absolutely immune, as long as they are engaged in traditional legislative functions. Although the Supreme Court has not had the opportunity to extend this rule to municipal legislators, lower courts have done so (Reed v. Village of Shorewood, 704 F.2d 943 [7th Cir. 1983]).

Judges have also been held to be absolutely immune from section 1983 actions, as long as they are performing adjudicative functions (Pierson v. Ray, 386 U.S. 547, 87 S. Ct. 1213, 18 L. Ed. 2d 288 [1967]; Stump v. Sparkman, 435 U.S. 349, 98 S. Ct. 1099, 55 L. Ed. 2d 331 [1978]). Judges are considered to be performing their adjudicative functions as long as they had jurisdiction over the subject matter at the time they acted and the action was a judicial act. A minority of lower courts have extended this absolute judicial immunity to quasi-judicial agencies, such as parole boards, when they have performed functions similar to those of judges (Johnson v. Wells, 566 F.2d 1016 [5th Cir. 1978]). Absolute judicial immunity has also been extended in some cases to those judicial employees who act under the direction of the judge, such as a law clerk, court administrator, paralegal, or court reporter (Lockhart v. Hoenstine, 411 F.2d 455 [3d Cir. 1969]).

State prosecuting attorneys who are acting within the scope of their duty in presenting the state's case are also absolutely immune from suits for damages under section 1983 claims but are not absolutely immune from suits seeking prospective relief (Imbler v. Pachtman, 424 U.S. 409, 96 S. Ct. 984, 47 L. Ed. 2d 128 [1976]). Other state officials who act in a prosecutorial role are similarly immune. The Supreme Court differentiated public defenders, however, in Polk County v. Dodson, 454 U.S. 312, 102 S. Ct. 445, 70 L. Ed. 2d 509 (1981), holding that they do not act under color of state law when performing their duties and therefore are not in need of immunity because their conduct is not covered by section 1983.

Witnesses who testify in court are absolutely immune from section 1983 actions for damages, even if the claim arises out of the wit- ness's perjured testimony (Briscoe v. LaHue, 460 U.S. 325, 103 S. Ct. 1108, 75 L. Ed. 2d 96 [1983]).

The Supreme Court has also recognized a qualified immunity defense to section 1983 actions in certain circumstances. Most state and local officials and employees, who do not enjoy absolute immunity, are entitled to qualified immunity. Thus, a prosecuting attorney who enjoys absolute immunity in performing her prosecutorial functions may also enjoy a qualified immunity in hiring and firing subordinates. The Supreme Court has held that school board members, state mental institution administrators, law enforcement officers, prison officials, and state and local executives have qualified immunity (Wood v. Strickland, 420 U.S. 308, 95 S. Ct. 992, 43 L. Ed. 2d 214 [1975]; O'Connor v. Donaldson, 422 U.S. 563, 95 S. Ct. 2486, 45 L. Ed. 2d 396 [1975]; Pierson v. Ray, 386 U.S. 547, 87 S. Ct. 1213, 18 L. Ed. 2d 288 [1967]; Procunier v. Navarette, 434 U.S. 555, 98 S. Ct. 855, 55 L. Ed. 2d 24 [1978]; Scheuer v. Rhodes, 416 U.S. 232, 94 S. Ct. 1683, 40 L. Ed. 2d 90 [1974]). Most federal circuit courts have deemed that parole board members and prison disciplinary committee members have qualified immunity (Fowler v. Cross, 635 F.2d 476 [5th Cir. 1981]; Thompson v. Burke, 556 F.2d 231 [3d Cir. 1977]). Lower courts have extended the defense of qualified immunity to a number of other officials, such as city managers, county health administrators, and state Department of Veterans' Affairs trust officers.

If the defendant can raise the defense of absolute or qualified immunity, then it is his duty to plead it (Gomez v. Toledo, 446 U.S. 635, 100 S. Ct. 1920, 64 L. Ed. 2d 572 [1980]).

Remedies

The Supreme Court has held that section 1983 creates "a species of tort liability" (Imbler v. Pachtman, 424 U.S. 409, 96 S. Ct. 984, 47 L. Ed. 2d 128 [1976]). Thus, the Supreme Court has held that, as in tort law, a section 1983 plaintiff is entitled to receive only nominal damages, not to exceed one dollar, unless she or he can prove actual damages (Carey v. Piphus, 435 U.S. 247, 98 S. Ct. 1042, 55 L. Ed. 2d 252 [1978]). The jury is not entitled to place a monetary value on the constitutional rights of which the plaintiff was deprived (Memphis Community School District v. Stachura, 477 U.S. 299, 106 S. Ct. 2537, 91 L. Ed. 2d 249 [1986]). Plaintiffs bear the burden, therefore, of presenting evidence of all expenses incurred, such as medical or psychiatric expenses, lost wages, and any damages due to pain and suffering, emotional distress, or damage to reputation. The plaintiff is also under a burden to mitigate his damages, and the award of damages may be reduced to the extent that the plaintiff failed to do so.

A section 1983 plaintiff is also required to prove that a federal right was violated and, similar to tort law, that the alleged violation was a proximate or legal cause of the damages that the plaintiff suffered (Arnold v. IBM Corp., 637 F.2d 1350 [9th Cir. 1981]).

The Supreme Court has also held that, similar to tort law, punitive damages are available under section 1983 (Smith v. Wade, 461 U.S. 30, 103 S. Ct. 1625, 75 L. Ed. 2d 632 [1983]). A plaintiff is entitled to punitive damages if the jury finds that the defendant's conduct was reckless or callously indifferent to the federally protected rights of others, or if the defendant was motivated by an evil intent. The jury has the duty to assess the amount of punitive damages. Because the purpose of punitive damages is to punish the wrongdoer, such damages may be awarded even if the plaintiff cannot show actual damages (Basista v. Weir, 340 F.2d 74 [3d Cir. 1965]). As in tort law, the judge has the right to overturn a jury verdict if the jury awards what the judge considers to be excessive punitive damages.

Courts also have broad power to grant equitable relief to plaintiffs in section 1983 actions. Equitable remedies that courts have provided in the past include school desegregation, restructuring of state mental health facilities, and restructuring of prisons (United States v. City of Yonkers, 96 F. 3d 600 [2nd Cir. 1996]; Wyatt v. Stickney, 344 F. Supp. 373 [M.D. Ala. 1972]; Hutto v. Finney, 437 U.S. 678, 98 S. Ct. 2565, 57 L. Ed. 2d 522 [1978]). When the court does provide equitable relief, it usually also provides ongoing evaluation and supervision of the enforcement of its orders.

The Civil Rights Attorney's Fee Awards Act of 1976 (42 U.S.C.A. § 1988[b]) allows for the award of reasonable attorneys' fees to the prevailing party in cases brought under various federal civil rights laws, including section 1983. This provision applies whether or not compensatory damages were awarded. This provision also applies whether the plaintiff or the defendant prevails. However, if the defendant is the prevailing party, attorneys' fees have been held to be appropriate only where the lawsuit was "vexatious, frivolous, or brought to harass or embarrass the defendant" (Hensley v. Eckerhart, 461 U.S. 424, 103 S. Ct. 1933, 76 L. Ed. 2d 40 [1983]). In addition, section 1988 does not require that the attorneys' fees awarded be in proportion to the amount of damages recovered (City of Riverside v. Rivera, 477 U.S. 561, 106 S. Ct. 2686, 91 L. Ed. 2d 466 [1986]).

Rule 68 of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure can lead to the adjustment of the amount of damages awarded by a jury in a section 1983 case. Enacted to encourage parties to settle their matters out of court, rule 68 provides that if the plaintiff rejected a settlement offer made by the defendant before trial that is better than the award the plaintiff ultimately received in the trial, the defendant is not liable for plaintiff's attorneys' fees incurred after the time the defendant made the settlement offer (Marek v. Chesny, 473 U.S. 1, 105 S. Ct. 3012, 87 L. Ed. 2d 1 [1985]). Under rule 68, section 1983 plaintiffs need to carefully consider any settlement offers made by the defendants.

Bars to Relief

Section 1983 does not provide a specific statute of limitations, which is a time limit in which a claim must be brought after the alleged violation occurred. But 42 U.S.C.A. § 1988 (1976) states that where the federal law does not provide a statute of limitations, state law shall apply. In determining which state statute of limitations to apply in a section 1983 case, the Supreme Court has held that in the interests of national uniformity and predictability, all section 1983 claims shall be treated as tort claims for the recovery of personal injuries (Wilson v. Garcia, 471 U.S. 261, 105 S. Ct. 1938, 85 L. Ed. 2d 254 [1985]). If the state has various statutes of limitations for different intentional torts, the Supreme Court mandates that the state's general or residual personal injury statute of limitations should apply (Owens v. Okure, 488 U.S. 235, 109 S. Ct. 573, 102 L. Ed. 2d 594 [1989]).

The Supreme Court has also held that state tolling statutes, which provide a plaintiff with an additional period of time in which to bring a lawsuit equal to the period of time in which the plaintiff was legally disabled, apply to section 1983 cases (Board of Regents v. Tomanio, 446 U.S. 478, 100 S. Ct. 1790, 64 L. Ed. 2d 440 [1980]).

Under section 1983, the statute of limitations does not begin to run until the cause of action accrues. The cause of action accrues when "the plaintiff knows or has reason to know of the injury which is the basis of the action" (Cox v. Stanton, 529 F.2d 47 [4th Cir. 1975]). However, in employment law cases, the Supreme Court has held that the cause of action accrues when the discriminatory act occurs (Delaware State College v. Ricks, 449 U.S. 250, 101 S. Ct. 498, 66 L. Ed. 2d 431 [1980]). Thus, if an employee is being terminated for reasons that violate section 1983, the statute of limitations begins on the day that the employee learns of the termination, not when the termination actually begins (Chardon v. Fernandez, 454 U.S. 6, 102 S. Ct. 28, 70 L. Ed. 2d 6 [1981]).

The legal rules of res judicata (claim preclusion) and collateral estoppel (issue preclusion) apply to section 1983 claims. This means that federal courts must give state court judgments the same preclusive effect that the law of the state in which the judgment was rendered would give. Plaintiffs need to be careful to raise all potential federal claims in cases brought in state court because they will not be allowed to bring those claims later in federal court after the state court has rendered a decision on the issues before it.

A plaintiff may waive his or her right to sue under section 1983, but such a waiver may be deemed unenforceable if "the interest in its enforcement is outweighed in the circumstances by a public policy harmed by enforcement of the agreement" (Town of Newton v. Rumery, 480 U.S. 386, 107 S. Ct. 1187, 94 L. Ed. 2d 405 [1987]).

Community Call Update: Get Your Justice Live

Get Your Justice Live! Official Radio (Join in)
Host: laryholland - laryholland@ sbcglobal. net
Episode: Laying the rumors to rest. Get Your Justice Live
A special teleconference regarding some of the recent events, my personal life, and those that support me.
Call ID: 39517

Personal Message from the Host:Looking forward to discussing the most intimate details and exposing the people that are leading an attack to take over the talk show that I have built up for the past two years.

Scheduled Time:

Date: Mon, February 16, 2009
Time: 09:00 PM EST

How to participate:

Call in:
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Octomom--whats new with her today?

What’s new with baby collector Nadya Suleman? Apparently her publicist has quit her. You can read all about it here.

Now here is the kicker to it, she already has another publicist.
Apparently her first publicist quit her because of all the hate mail and the threats. When are these baby collectors like Nadya going to realize that they really are not liked? You would think they could see it with their own eyes… But wait…. Lest we forget were dealing with a narcissist here. They are so vain they really do not understand that it is possible that people do not like them.

So anyway, the state of California is broke, they are making state workers take two days off a month and state income tax checks are in the form of an IOU, and you have sick baby collectors like Nadya who can not afford to have these children much less be able to take care of 14 kids and claims that she is not on welfare. What the hell do you call food stamps and SSDI?

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Haleigh Cummings missing child in Florida

Haleigh Cummings is a 5 year old little girl who is missing in SATSUMA, FL. First of all this is a tragic subject. But look at the situation and tell me what you think. The mom and dad were young and decided to split up. The mom, not wanting to remove the children from their father’s life entirely let the father visit with the kids before a court date was held. At that time the father took the kids, never returned them to the mother and he filed for custody through the courts. He had the papers served to an address that the bio mom says she never lived at. Now someone had to sign for those papers. Was it the bio mom, or was this a set up by the father?



The father has a past of abuse. He does work, I will give him that. But he is also known to deal drugs. There are people in and out of that trailer all the time. ANYONE could have taken this baby. You do not just have people in and out of your house all the time. It is just a prelude for bad things to come, and for this family, something bad has come of the past behavior.




So who really is to blame? The father and his group of peers are to blame. Yes he is distraught, he does love his child, but obviously not enough to (A) get the medical care she needed. You see Haleigh has a medical condition that should have been taken care of. (B) He has people in and out of his home and God only knows at what times of day or night or what intervals. A person interested in being a real parent grows up when the kids come along and no longer engages in these kinds of activities. (C) No MAN who is a father has a 17 year old live in girl friend to care for his children, at 17 she is still a child herself.


From watching this case unfold on TV I have problems with both parents and their families, too many lies have been told. But most of the lies have been told from within the residence this child resides in. Even if we find out this was a predator, the blame still goes to the dad. I do not care if he is poor, he is a dad, and he has responsibilities to his children, responsibilities that he did not carry out within the best interest of his children.


Before this over with I am sure there will be more and more mud slinging, I am sure that a lot more about the parents will come out in the public and I will be sitting, listening with open ears and eyes. I think whoever the judge was that gave this piece of shit man-boy custody of these children should be held responsible in some way for leaving these kids in the custody of this piece of crap.


No not all men are bad fathers, but ones who make bad decisions and live inappropriately have no business raising children AT ALL……

Happy Valentines Day

Valentines Day Myspace Graphics

Valentines Day Layouts

Valentines Day Graphics

I Love You Graphics




HAPPY VALENTINES JUSTIN AND JERAMY!


Even though your Grandmother Shirley and your father decided to take my weekend I want you to know I am thinking of you today. You boys are the loves of my life, my heart and soul.


Shirley and Skip, you can play your games all you wish, but each time the boys miss their weekend with me, it is documented and the Judge will not look kindly upon eihter of you for the habitual disreguard of a court order. Enjoy this Valentines with MY boy's. Your wispers to Jeramy on the phone were heard, just remember this, your are not hurting me when you go against the court order, you are hurting the little boys you claim to love so much and your hurting yourselves when it comes to any chance of keeping those boys with you. Yeah, you really do love them dont you? Enjoy your day, you never know what life may bring when the tables are turned.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Caylee Anthony

Today Caylee Anthony has finally been laid to rest; today’s memorial was one of the most emotional provoking public displays I think I may have ever seen in my entire life. Watching this case unfold on national television has been like a roller coaster.
Last night, the night before the public memorial Casey Anthony spoke, not directly but through her attorney. When I heard her message delivered by her attorney I felt a little anger. In her press message she talks about the arrangements were not what she wanted and he had no control. You know, she deserves no control, no say so, and no right to choose. I would not be as angry as I am about that statement if it were not for the fact that “A” she has chosen not to speak before now. “B” she did not ask to watch the service on the television at the jail and “C” she did not ask if she could go on a field trip to the church to see the memorial before the service. (I understand there is no way she would have been allowed to attend the actual service, but she could have asked to be taken in the night before or the morning of) She made her press opportunity all about herself like a true narcissist.
The service was beautiful and I am thankful to the media that they televised it on the national news station CNN. Though, not the first funeral or memorial service ever televised, this one seemed even more special. Caylee was not a celebrity, she was not a past president or politician, she was, until her death a normal two year old living in Orlando, Florida. There were hundreds if not thousands of people who showed up in Orlando, Florida today to pay their last respects, most of whom never knew Caylee in her natural life. This speaks volumes for some of the people of our nation.
Despite my feelings towards Casey Anthony, and the Anthony’s throughout this entire, very public case I had to set those feelings aside for just a moment in time, for today was all about Caylee. Here in Mississippi it was a gloomy day, but from what I could see on the television, Orlando was the perfect setting to say goodbye to this sweet angel. One of the most emotional moments of the service for me was when the doves were released. What a glorious gesture the act of the release was.
The entire point of my post is this, there are thousands of people who care more about a child they never met in life, than the mother who brought her into this world. It is people like the ones who showed not only in person at the memorial but also the thousands if not millions who watched from home because they could not travel to be in Orlando to pay their respects in person. It is the people who care and love like they do, that we need in our fight for ALL children. Abused children, neglected children, children who need a voice to help speak for them, children who are at risk because the caretakers in their life are not doing the right thing by them, and there are millions of children right here in the United States who need people to care, to see the real dangers, and to care enough to do something about it, they need someone to speak up and for them, and for the officials to have the jurisdiction to act upon the facts. It angers me and makes me sick to my stomach sick when I see children who are not getting the care, the love and attention they deserve, go un-noticed, their needs not met. These children are at risk of becoming another statistic.
If you know of a child or children who are at risk, do not be afraid to speak up, you very well could save a child’s life; you could be their saving grace. Our graveyards will continue to fill up, our prisons will continue to be filled to capacity if we do not exercise better parenting skills, and if we choose to sit idle and not say a word when we see neglect and abuse.

NCP Support & Empowerment Exchange

NCP Support & Empowerment Exchange (Join in) Host: Joshua Rose Foundation - NCPSEE@gmail.com Episode: EPISODE 29 - Joan Kloth Zanard Joan Kloth Zanard of www.Klothconsulting.com will be our guest as we discuss her program: PA prevention intervention Call ID: 28046
Personal Message from the Host:
Join Sister Julia, Sister Charity & Joan Kloth-Zanard from Kloth Consulting as they discuss Joan's Intervention & Prevention program for dealing with the mental abuse that sometimes happens during divorce Come with your listening Ears & Thinking Caps on and be prepared to ask some questions. God Bless You and We hope to see you there. With many blessings and much love, Sister Julia and Sister Charity Tuesday night at 7 pm EST on www.talkshoe.com Call ID: 28046 or call in 1-724-444-7444 Call ID:28046 + # Pin +# or 1+#Scheduled Time: Date: Tue, February 10, 2009 Time: 07:00 PM EST How to participate: Call in:
Dial: (724) 444-7444
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Click here to join the call or just listen along
(Optional) Become a TalkShoe member

Sunday, February 8, 2009

THE ART OF SELFISHNESS

People are becoming utterly self-centered, lazy, looking for something to help them escape reality, someone to blame for their failures and dependent on government for those things we should be doing for themselves.

WHY? Because they do not have God in their life.

Lovers of money and aroused by an inordinate greedy desire for wealth. The Bible tells us that God gives blessings to His beloved in his sleep (Ps. 127:2). Jos. 1:6-8 gives the real formula for good success. I have noticed that many people completely ware themselves out attempting to obtain money and things (the better things of life). They lose their children to drugs, people who prey on children, polluted and perverted sex, or suicide and do not awake from their slumber until the children have been destroyed. Our children follow our example.

Proud and arrogant and contemptuous boasters. Have you ever noticed who does the bragging and boasting? It is usually those who are attempting to cover their failures. Are they full of hot air? People who boast are really showing their rejection. Our children follow our example.

You know our kids are born as innocent beings craving knowledge, and have an eagerness to learn. Yet too many parents turn the role of teacher over to television and video games, they count on schools to teach their children the difference between right and wrong. But our schools are limited to what they can teach and can't teach because of laws that prevent appropriate discipline and learning.

If the African proverb is correct, that "it takes a village to raise a child," then we need a village that not only accepts the responsibility of raising children in a Christian way, but we need a village that knows what to teach.

Hmmmmmmm......................

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

A Non Custodial Parent’s Declaration of Independence

A Non Custodial Parent’s Declaration of IndependenceKlickitat County Supreme Court of Washington, JULY 5, 2007.THE DAY MY BOYS WERE TAKENThe unanimous Declaration of This Alienated and abused Non Custodial Parent, that when in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the political bands which have connected him with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that This Non Custodial Parent should declare the causes which impel him to the separation.I hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men and women are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men and Women, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce Non Custodial Parents under absolute Despotism, it is their right; it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security and that of their Children. — Such has been the patient sufferance of This Non Custodial Parent; and such is now the necessity which constrains him/her to alter this Systems of Government. The history of the present Family Court Judges and Unaccountable DHCS?CPS is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these Non Custodial Parents and their Children. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.Family Court has refused their Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.Family Court has forbidden his lawyers to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to the damages done to Non Custodial Parents by the VAWA/ CPS/ Abusers and malicious prosecution.Family Court has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of an entire Gender of citizens, unless those Non Custodial Parents would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.Family Court has called together Ex parte Hearings at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with The VAWA and DHCS/CPS.Family Court has dissolved Non Custodial Parent's Civil Rights repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of his family and children.Family Court has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.Family Court has endeavored to prevent the population of Non Custodial Parents; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for visitation; refusing to pass others to encourage the bonds between Non Custodial Parent and child be un-hindered.Family Court has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.Family Court has made Judges dependent on their Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.Family Court has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance. VAWA, CPS, DHCS an entire industry of Domestic Violence shelters and a new inquisition of men and women who want to practice Parenthood.Family Court has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies of Feminist/ Male Abusers of Power and zealots without the Consent of our legislatures.Family Court has affected to render the Sheriff's Departments independent of and superior to the Civil Power.Family Courts have combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction in direct conflict to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving their Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:*Mandatory arrest without warrant, often based on nothing more than Hearsay;*A standard under which the accused is guilty until proven innocent and mere allegations now suffice as proof;*Forced Non Custodial Parents from their homes and children with nothing more than the clothes on their backs without any pretense of due process;*Endorsed searches of homes without warrant;*Allowed seizures of Property without redress;*Denied defendants the assistance of counsel, the right to confront their accuser and obtain witnesses in their defense;*Punishment and imprisonment that occurs before trial or without one;*Invoked public censure for crimes men have not committed.*For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:For abolishing the free System of Constitutional Laws in an unbiased court, establishing therein an Arbitrary preconditioned disposition, and enlarging the definition of Domestic Violence so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute presumption of guilt without trial of peers.For taking away our Children, abolishing our abilities to seek employment, and taking away our rights to poses driver's license, fishing license, Visa and garnishment of out income, tax refunds and bank accounts.For suspending our own Legislatures and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever, regardless of civil rights.Family Court has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.Family Court has plundered our belongings, ravaged our earnings, burnt our homes, and destroyed the lives of our children.Family Court is at this time transporting large Armies of anti family Mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.Family Court has constrained our fellow Non Custodial Parents taken Captive throughout our Nation, forced Non Custodial Parents to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.Family Court has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavored to bring on the inhabitants of our Cities, the merciless anti family Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions of the Family unit.In every stage of these Oppressions We have petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Judge, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our marriage vows and dedication to family. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.We, therefore, the Representatives of the Non Custodial Parent unjustly and civilly violated, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Family Men and Women, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Non Custodial Parents are, and of Right ought to be Free and treated with equality, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Family court and VAWA, CPS and that all political connection between them and the Judges presiding over their cases, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent Non Custodial Parents, We have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Men may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.— Matthew Levi Johnson, credit also due Mr.Hancock

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Need I say more?


Nadya Suleman gave birth to six boys and two girls

Suleman, a 33-year-old single mother, already had six children, ages 2 to 7 when she gave birth to her octuplets on Jan. 26.......

So why am I blogging about this? This woman needs help, and I do not mean financial help.
You see, this mom, does not have the means to support her children, she is SINGLE, which would not be a huge deal if she did not have so many kids. Her children were concieved invitro.

I have been watching some of the coverage of this story, and is has been said she was obsessed with having kids from the time she was a teen. Now she is looking to sell her story. So what does it all come down to? She is a narcissist; she is doing this to bring attention to herself, and for financial gain.

Oh, did I say financial gain? YES I DID…. When are people going to learn that children are about love, and not for financial gain? Does anyone really think that a single mom can care for all of her 14, yes 14 children? I think not. She is placing dollar amounts on this. She is asking for $2 million to do an interview with Oprah.

Even though most people are not getting million dollar deals, the sad part is that people are using their kids for financial gain in other ways. First of all, it is selfish to have kids if you can not afford to support them yourself, secondly, it is sick to have more children than you can care for and most importantly it is wrong to try to or to get compensation in monetary gain to support children that you chose to bring into this world. This story is just yet, another example of a parent who cares more about the money than the children. I am in no way saying she does not love her children, but if she loved the six children she had before this birth she would not have attempted to have more. She is running a day care, an orphanage, whatever you want to call it. There is no way that she can give this many children the love and attention that children need. Some people have problems giving those important elements to two children much less 14.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Parents Who Have Successfully Fought Parental Alienation Syndrome

by Jayne A. Major, Ph.D. (UCLA) Nothing stirs up passions more than the controversy generated when parents are at war over the custody of a child. A controversy is an issue where evidence on both sides can make a compelling case. It is never black and white, but when people have their emotions aroused, an issue can quickly turn into two polar opposites. Fear takes over reason, incomplete facts become evidence, and court calendars become jammed with repeat visits to a judge to try to bring sanity to what is unlikely to ever be sane. On top of this, social movements are promoting one side over another in their clamor for justice. Politicians are lobbied to pass laws to bring order to chaos. Gender wars are fueled and lives are destroyed. My exposure to custody wars came from the mothers and fathers attending my Breakthrough Parenting® classes at The Parent Connection, Inc., an agency that I founded in Los Angeles in 1983. Many of the parents in my classes were litigating over child custody. Most said that they wanted to settle the case, but none of them would settle by giving up all access to their child, which seemed to be the only other alternative open to them. It was disturbing to see that in many of these cases, the child was behaving outrageously, to the point of cursing one of their parents, and kicking, spitting, and calling them stupid, mean and horrible. What can you do when one parent is intractable and vitriolic? What can you do when the child becomes caught up in the fight and starts taking sides? I came to realize that this level of conflict in custody disputes was a fallout from sweeping societal changes. What has changed? In the 1960's and the 1970's, feminists told fathers that they should take a more active role in raising their children. Women were going to work, going back to college and pursuing careers as never before. A shift then began, and fathers became more involved in the day-to-day care of their children than was true in previous generations. As rigidity about parental roles began to fall away, the tender years doctrine was still in place. This doctrine presumed that by virtue of the fact that a woman was the mother of a child, that she must be the superior parent. In the early 1970's several states passed "no-fault" divorce laws, where anyone who wanted out of a marriage was free to leave. Some have called it the "no guilt laws." There was a proliferation of divorce that was historically unprecedented. After a family breakup, many fathers wanted to continue to be involved with the care of their children. Suddenly, they found that they had no legal right to have custody of their children unless the mother agreed to it. Due to the lobbying efforts of James Cook, founder of the Joint Custody Association, who was caught up in this problem himself, the California legislature successfully passed the first joint custody laws. Joint custody was widely seen as a better way of handling the evolving problem of how to share child custody. It was believed that it would lead to fewer fights over the custody of children because it was more equal. Other states also passed joint custody laws. These laws helped to level the playing field for fathers. The majority of mothers and fathers welcomed joint custody. Others did not. As with any trend, there was a backlash. Child custody became a highly political gender-specific issue. Thus, the ramping up of high-level disputes also began in the 70's. In most states the tender years presumption (mother knows best) was replaced with the best-interests-of-the-child presumption of joint custody (the best parent is both parents). In the 1980's, courts began to increasingly ignore gender in determining child custody. This removed the automatic allocation of full custody rights to the mother, so she had less time with the children. Instead, the courts looked first at how the custody could be shared, and if that wasn't possible, judicial officers attempted to determine which parent was more interested and better able to attend to the best interest of the child. Fathers perceived that they were at a disadvantage because of a bias toward the mother having custody. Because of this, in the 1980's more fathers than ever started showing up at parenting classes to make sure that their skills were state of the art. This is when these issues were first called to my attention. Most parents were able to share custody of their children, and they worked out childcare issues in an amicable way. A large number of women were even relieved to have fathers share in the childcare, which enabled them to pursue their personal life goals involving their education and career. However, when there was not a friendly resolution to custody, fathers found themselves with a greater opportunity to gain joint or primary custodial status by litigating (going to court). The stakes got even higher when the legal system was used to resolve these difficult problems. In extreme cases, the alienation of a child's affection against a targeted parent became a bizarre escalation of the intensity of the conflict. Who discovered Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)? In association with this growing child-custody litigation, forensic psychiatrist Dr. Richard A. Gardner first identified Parental Alienation Syndrome in the 1980's. He noticed a dramatic increase in the frequency of a disorder rarely observed before, that of programming or brainwashing of a child by one parent to denigrate the other parent. However, the disorder wasn't just brainwashing or programming by a parent. It was confounded by what Dr. Gardner calls self-created contributions by the child in support of the alienating parent's campaign of denigration against the targeted parent. He called this disorder Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), a new term that includes the contribution to the problem made by both the parent and the child. What is PAS? Gardner's definition of PAS is:1. The Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is a disorder that arises primarily in the context of child-custody disputes. 2. Its primary manifestation is the child's campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification. 3. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) of a parent's indoctrinations and the child's own contributions to the vilification of the targeted parent. Excerpted from: Gardner, R.A. (1998). The Parental Alienation Syndrome, Second Edition, Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics, Inc. What is the child's part in PAS? Gardner notes that the PAS is more than brainwashing or programming, because the child has to actually participate in the denigrating of the alienated parent. This is done in primarily the following eight ways: 1. The child denigrates the alienated parent with foul language and severe oppositional behavior. 2. The child offers weak, absurd, or frivolous reasons for his or her anger. 3. The child is sure of him or herself and doesn't demonstrate ambivalence, i.e. love and hate for the alienated parent, only hate. 4. The child exhorts that he or she alone came up with ideas of denigration. The "independent-thinker" phenomenon is where the child asserts that no one told him to do this. 5. The child supports and feels a need to protect the alienating parent. 6. The child does not demonstrate guilt over cruelty towards the alienated parent. 7. The child uses borrowed scenarios, or vividly describes situations that he or she could not have experienced. 8. Animosity is spread to the friends and/or extended family of the alienated parent. In severe cases of parent alienation, the child is utterly brain- washed against the alienated parent. The alienator can truthfully say that the child doesn't want to spend any time with this parent, even though he or she has told him that he has to, it is a court order, etc. The alienator typically responds, "There isn't anything that I can do about it. I'm not telling him that he can't see you." PAS is an escalation of Parental Alienation (PA) Dr. Douglas Darnall in his book Divorce Casualties: Protecting Your Children from Parental Alienation, describes three categories of PA: 1. The mild category he calls the naïve alienators. They are ignorant of what they are doing and are willing to be educated and change. 2. The moderate category is the active alienators. When they are triggered, they lose control of appropriate boundaries. They go ballistic. When they calm down, they don't want to admit that they were out of control. 3. In the severe category are the obsessed alienators or those who are involved in PAS. They operate from a delusional system where every cell of their body is committed to destroying the other parent's relationship with the child. In the latter case, he notes that we don't have an effective protocol for treating an obsessed alienator other than removing the child from their influence. An important point is that in PAS there is no true parental abuse and/or neglect on the part of the alienated parent. If this were the case, the child's animosity would be justified. Also, it is not PAS if the child still has a positive relationship with the parent, even though one parent is attempting to alienate the child from him or her. Which gender is most likely to initiate PAS? Gardner's statistics showed that the majority of PAS occurrences were initiated by mothers. Mothers have traditionally had primary custody of children (although before the 20th century it normally belonged to the father), and the mothers usually spend more time with the children. In order for a campaign of alienation to occur, one parent needs to have considerable time with the child. However, in recent years increasing numbers of fathers have started instigating PAS, since there are few legal sanctions for doing so. I've seen several dramatic cases where the father was the alienator. In one case, the father had no control over his obsession to trash the mother. Numerous professionals told him, including the mother, that he could have shared custody if he would be willing to follow the rules. He didn't have the self-control to do this. When he lost custody because of his aberrant behavior, he became a celebrity in the father's rights movement and took his campaign into national circles. No one would know from hearing him speak about his situation that there was serious pathology going on (PAS) or how hard the professionals worked to stabilize it. Moreover, in cultures where women traditionally have no tangible rights, alienation by the father can be severe. I've met divorcing women who had been prevented from learning how to make a living to support themselves. At the time of separation all access to financial resources were stopped and the children removed from her care. These women reported severe alienation of affection. It makes one grateful to have laws that protect human rights and enforce a better way of resolving conflict than a winner-take all approach. How common is PA and PAS? When parents first separate there is often parent alienation. For example, due to the anxiety of the mother, she is likely to say indirectly to a child that he or she is not safe with the father. She might say: "Call me as soon as you get there to let me know you are okay." "If you get scared, you call me right away. Okay?" "I'll come get you if you want to come home." Usually this level of alienation dies down after the separating parents get used to changes brought on by the separation and move on with their lives. However, in rare cases, the anxiety not only doesn't calm down, it escalates. PAS parents are psychologically fragile. When things are going their way, they can hold themselves together. When they are threatened however, they can become fiercely entrenched in preserving what they see is rightfully theirs. Fortunately only a small percentage end up in this level of conflict. Why do PAS parents act like they do? I believe that PAS parents have become stuck in the first stage of child development, where survival skills are learned. To them, having total control over their child is a life and death matter. Because they don't understand how to please other people, any effort to do so always has strings attached. They don't give; they only know how to take. They don't play by the rules and are not likely to obey a court order. Descriptions that are commonly used to describe severe cases of PAS are that the alienating parent is unable to "individuate" (a psychological term used when the person is unable to see the child as a separate human being from him or herself). They are often described as being "overly involved with the child" or "enmeshed". The parent may be diagnosed as narcissistic (self-centered), where they presume that they have a special entitlement to whatever they want. They think that there are rules in life, but only for other people, not for them. Also, they may be called a sociopath, which means a person who has no moral conscience. These are people who are unable to have empathy or compassion for others. They are unable to see a situation from another person's point of view, especially their child's point of view. They don't distinguish between telling the truth and lying in the way that others do. In spite of admonitions from judges and mental health professionals to stop their alienation, they can't. The prognosis for severely alienating parents is very poor. It is unlikely that they are able to "get it." It is also unlikely that they will ever stop trying to perpetuate the alienation. This is a gut wrenching survival issue to them. How does the child get involved in PAS? The targeted parent needs to understand what has happened to what as once an affectionate and loving child who is now unexplainably hostile. Remember Gardner’s definition stated earlier, "the disorder wasn’t only brainwashing or programming by a parent", but was confounded by what he calls "self-created contributions by the child in support of the alienating parent’s campaign of denigration against the targeted parent." It isn’t PAS in the severe form of this disorder, unless the child has crossed over and joined up with the alienating parent. The child shares the alienating parent’s psychosis. How does this happen? At birth, children are totally reliant on a parent, usually the mother, for having all of their needs met. It is part of normal child development to be enmeshed with their primary caregiver, and very young children do not have a separate identity from this caregiver. One of the mother's roles is to help the child develop as a separate person, therefore, infancy and childhood become a series of tasks of learning how to become independent. For example, learning to putting oneself back to sleep, eating, toilet training and caring for one's hygiene. Instead of promoting this independence, the alienating parent encourages continued dependence. The parent may insist on sleeping with the child, feeding the child ("It's easier if I do it"), and taking care of these rites of passage longer than normal child development calls for. This "spoiling" may not feel right to the child, but they do not have enough ego strength to do anything about it. A PAS mother can't imagine that the father is capable of planning the child's time while in his care. Therefore, she arranges several things for the child to do while at the father's house. One of the most common ways of doing this is to sign the child up for on-going lessons without permission from the father. The parent may even decree whom the child can and cannot see, particularly specific members of the child's extended family on the father's side. The mother desperately wants control over the time when the child isn't with her. One of the most unusual situations that I ran into was the father who picked up his sons at 9:00 a.m. on a Saturday for the weekend. He discovered that his very excited boys had their hearts set on going to Disneyland for the day, when this idea had never crossed his mind. One theory about why a mother will act this way is that when a father takes his share of joint custody, it is like asking her to give away part of her body. One mother said, "He is going to remove my right arm and take it for the weekend." It feels like the mother has lost a profound part of who she is as a person. She feels fractured, pulled apart. Why is PAS a double bind for the child? When children spend time with the father, and enjoy it, they are put into a double bind. Clearly, they cannot tell the mother that dad treats them well or that they had fun together. They want to bond with the father, but don't dare. They figure out on which side the bread is buttered (who has the power), and their survival needs tug at them. Therefore, children will tell the mother about everything they didn't enjoy about time spent with the father, which will add to her belief that they don't like to be with him. These children feel that they must protect the mother. The same is true when the alienator is the father. The child will avoid expressing their affectionate feelings for the mother to him. Family volitility These are volatile families. The father may have indeed spanked a child, or lashed out at the mother physically or emotionally. An isolated incidence can turn into a holocaust. One father spanked his rebellious child and ended up in jail on child abuse charges, followed by a six week trial to determine his guilt. The jury returned with a not guilty verdict in 20 minutes. The verdict didn't end it as far as the mother was concerned, however. The alienating parent's hatred can have no bounds. The severest form will bring out every horrible allegation known, including claims of domestic violence, stalking and the sexual molestation of the child. Many fathers say that there have been repeated calls to the Department of Family and Child Services alleging child abuse and neglect. In most cases the investigators report that they found nothing wrong. However, the indoctrinating parent feels that these reports are not fabrications, but very, very real. She can describe the horror of what happen in great detail. Regardless of the actual truth, in her mind, it did happen. Most of the alienated fathers that I work with are continually befuddled by her lying. "How can she lie like that?" They don't realize that these lies are not based on rational thinking. They are incapable of understanding the difference between what is true and what they want to be true. A vital part of fighting PAS is to understand the severity of the psychological disturbance that is the source of it. Intergenerational patterns What makes this problem very complicated is that PAS is often intergenerational in dysfunctional families. Almost always the alienator has people within the family who support the alienation. It might be the mother, father or grandparent who encourage fighting. They are likely to support the parent financially or even provide massive amounts of money to fund litigation. This is further proof to the PAS parent that he or she is justified in what he/she does. When a child is placed in the role of the parent's therapist Alienation advances even further when the alienating parent uses the child as a personal therapist. The child is told about every miserable experience and negative feeling about the alienated parent with great specificity. The child, who is already enmeshed with the parent because his or her own identity is still undefined, easily absorbs the parent's negativity. They become aligned with this parent and feel that they need to be the protector of the alienating parent. What happens to the child when you can't stop PAS? Obviously, without anyone to stop the alienation from progressing, the child will become estranged from the alienated parent. The relationship with this parent will eventually be severed. It is doubtful that, without psychological intervention as the child grows, he or she will ever understand what happened. The child's primary role model will be the maladaptive, dysfunctional parent. He or she will not have the benefit of growing up with the most well-adjusted parent and all that this parent can contribute to enrich the child's life. Many of these children come to experience serious psychiatric problems. Will they ever grow up and realize what happened to them? Without someone who can recognize the syndrome and counsel them about it, it isn't likely that they will ever figure it out. However, there have been exceptions where the child and the alienated parent have been successfully reunified later in life. Can good intentions backfire? Those people who are typically called upon to handle such difficult situations, such as the police, social workers, attorneys or psychologists assume that what the frightened mother is saying is true. These things DO happen. There are men who are seriously disturbed, violent, out of control sexually, and stalk, who are rightfully feared. The mother is very convincing in her desperation and vivid in her descriptions. The clincher is that the alienated child collaborates with the mother by saying, "Yes, I am afraid of my father." "Yes, my father did touch me down there." "Yes, he does beat me." What would you do if you were faced with having to decide how to protect a child in such a situation? Rapists Therapists with master's degrees are unlikely to realize the severity and depth of the problem, because they are not trained in this level of pathology. In fact, they may unwittingly side with the alienating parent and even testify in court that the child is afraid of the alienated parent. This can be a serious stumbling block in getting an accurate diagnosis. Indeed, it can tip the scale into the alienating parent's agenda and do real damage. Our courts, social services and mental health workers are all committed to stop child abuse and neglect when they see it occurring. Unfortunately, in PAS situations a dramatic and loud complaint from the alienating parent often ends up being acted upon without an investigation as to the accuracy of the allegation. This frequently removes the alienated parent from the children and allows the alienating parent considerable additional time to proceed with the alienation. By the time all of the evaluations are in place and the case is heard by the court, considerable damage has been done to the child. It is an irony that the very people we turn to for help in such a difficult situation can often be those who most contribute to allowing the on-going abuse and neglect of the child to continue. What can be done about the problem? First, it takes a sophisticated mental health professional to be able to identify that PAS is occurring. Most forensic evaluators such as psychiatrists and clinical psychologists at the Ph.D. level have studied the disorder and are able to recognize it. Forensic evaluators diagnose PAS by having the parents take a battery of psychological tests, doing a detailed case history and by observation. They make recommendations as to what to do. After the evaluator has written a report on the family and made recommendations, nothing will happen to resolve the crisis without court intervention. The alienated parent has to take the report to a judge who must then be convinced that the child is being alienated and that it is not in their best interest to stay in such an environment. It is rare however that judges have any degree of mental health training. They most often learn about PAS from the bench. It usually takes several trips to court to point out how badly a child is being treated before a judge is willing to act. How are PAS cases resolved legally? Judges are inevitably conservative in their orders. Even when the evidence is overwhelming that the alienation is occurring, the court order may still end up saying, "the parents are to make joint decisions about the child's welfare," when this is impossible to do. This is further evidence that the judge doesn't understand the magnitude of the problem. The judge in one of the most severe PAS cases I worked on was from the old school. He was tired of having the litigants continue to appear before him. One day he said, "Why don't the two of you go out in the hallway and kiss and make up." This is an example of how frustrating these cases are for judges. Indeed, these are the hardest cases to decide. Judges have been slow to place serious sanctions on the alienating parent. If there is no threat of severe fines, jail time or sole custody to the targeted parent, the chances are remote that the out-of-control parent can be stopped. It usually takes a dramatic situation where court orders are broken to force the court to change primary custody. Often it is only a matter of time before alienating parents become desperate and their unstable mental health gets the better of them. People in an official position start to recognize the alienating parent as being out of line, and become supportive of the targeted parent. In one case, the 9 and 4 year old daughters were abducted and presumed to be on their way to Australia through an underground group that hides women who are victims of domestic violence, often of a sexual nature and where the father is stalking. The girls were missing for 3 months and found in another county where they were waiting for final arrangements to be made before their departure. When the police broke into the house at 3:00 a.m., they found the girls sleeping with their mother. They had been given boy's names, clothes, haircuts and their hair was dyed. They were not allowed contact with anyone outside of their hiding place, not even to go to school. The oldest child had strep throat and the youngest was seriously withdrawn. In another case, the mother could no longer convince the social workers, the police or the Court about her allegations. She was known to be unstable because she had "cried wolf" too many times. She abducted her daughter to Utah. She told officials there that the courts where she lived were protecting a proven child molester. The press was called. After she was interviewed; there was a virtual feeding frenzy as the father's photograph and the story was on all the local news networks. A big part of the problem was that the seven year old girl, said "Yes" when asked if her father had molested her. Even though this had already been disproved by forensic evaluators, she was still confused. Can the alienation of children be reversed? As children get older, the alienation can be reversed with proper psychological care. However, it won't work if the alienating parent is not contained. In the last case described above, the mother had severely limited visiting rights. She had remarried and had a new child, however, she still regularly calls the police to report the father for abuse. Presently, the daughter resides with her father, receives weekly therapy and hates the police. She gradually understands how disturbed her mother is. In the former case, where the mother was kidnapping the children, she now sees them two hours a month at the Department of Children's Services with a social worker present to monitor everything that she says and does. The girls have also been in extensive therapy and are doing well. Since this is among the most severe kinds of abuse of a child's emotions, there will be scars and lost opportunities for normal development. The child is at risk of growing up and being an alienator also, since the alienating parent has been the primary role model. What is the best way to deal with PAS? The parents I know who were successful in getting primary custody of their children in a PAS situation shared the following characteristics:
They completed a comprehensive parenting course such as Breakthrough Parenting, and stuck with it until they rated excellent in the knowledge, skills and methods taught. Their parenting skills became superior.
They were even-tempered, logical and kept their emotions under control. They never retaliated. A person who reacts in anger is proving the alienator's point that he or she is unstable.
They certainly thought of giving up but never did. No matter how awful the harassment got, they worried about leaving their daughter or son in that environment. They were driven to continue trying to get the court to understand the seriousness of the issues and to change primary custody to them.
They were willing and able to go to the financial expense of seeing it through.
They got help from a skilled family lawyer who had experience with parent alienation syndrome.
They became good at understanding how the courts work and the law as it applied to their case. In many cases, because of excessive expenses, parents even ended up as pro per (called pro se in some states) where they were representing themselves without a lawyer.
They had a case where a forensic evaluator made a strong statement about the alienation and recommend changing legal and primary custody to the alienated parent. Some parents had to go back to the evaluator to demonstrate that his or her earlier recommendations were not working.
They persevered in demonstrating that they were rational, reasonable, and had the best interest of the child at heart.
They provided the court with an appropriate parenting plan that showed how the child would be well taken care of in their care.
They understood the nature of the problem and focused on what to do about it, even though they and their children were being victimized. (Alienated parents who got caught up in "how terrible it all is" and spent time judging the situation, went under emotionally.)
They didn't live a victim's life.
They were proactive in seeking constructive action.
They avoided adding to the problem. One father expressed it like this: "I don't know how to make it better with the mother, but I do know how to make it worse." He was one of the most successful parents I met in fighting the PAS problem because he stayed in the role of the peacekeeper.
They kept a diary or journal of key events, describing what happened and when.
They documented the alienation with evidence that was admissible in court.
They always called or showed up to pick up their children, even if they knew that the children won't be there. This was often very painful, but then they could document that they tried, when the alienator alleged that this parent had no interest in the child.
They focused on enjoying their children's company and never talked to their children about their case. They always took the high road and never talked badly about the other parent to their children. They absolutely never showed a child any court orders or other sensitive documents. They didn't let the children overhear inappropriate conversations on the telephone.
They didn't violate court orders. They paid their child support on time and proved that they could live within the letter of the law.
They were truly decent, principled people. It was obvious that they loved their children. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Conclusion PAS cases are notoriously difficult to figure out, even for professionals in the field of divorce. Once the syndrome is discovered, it is even harder for the professionals to figure out what to do about it. It is important for alienated parents to be supported by compassionate people while going through this difficult time. PAS is never easy, but there is plenty of hope for those who take the high road and follow what worked for other PAS parents as shown above. Jayne Major, Ph.D.

Jerusalem and Jericho

I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. That is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant. - Martin Luther King


"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: {5} And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. {6} And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: {7} And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. {8} And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. {9} And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates. " (Deu 6:4-9)
"Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself: I am the LORD. " (Lev 19:18)

she asked him......

She looked at him and told him she was going to go shopping during the week and get him some new clothes. She then asked him if there was a certain brand or style that he preferred.
He hung his head low and said “Any brand will do as long as it fits”
She says to him “Are you sure”
He replies “I just want clothes that fit.”
The reason she had asked him about clothes to start with is because she noticed that his clothes were ill fitting. Because his head was hung so low she knew there was more to the story.
He went on to explain that he had no part in the decisions as to the clothes he has available to him to wear, and he wished that he did.
This story is so sad, children of any age should have at least a partial say in what style of clothes, and brand of clothes they prefer. Clothing choices are a form of expression and help define who we are. Suppressing style is like suppressing artistic ability, talents, wishes and dreams. If they are snuffed out long enough a part of the person’s soul dies from lack of being able to express themselves.
There is no need for me to say who had this conversation, the guilty parties are reading here and will know without having to think about it.
You know who else heard this conversation? God did, and he see's all the wrong YOU are doing and saying. YOU are the ones who will have to answer God when the time comes about the things you say and do. Do you think he will actually let you into heaven given how you act, think and speak?